I know that I am working too much. I have worked too much for most of my career. I am super motivated, extremely reliable, and very dependable; I also am endangering my health, and the costs to myself, my career, and my family and friends are adding up.
And I am not alone.
This blog is not about me; it’s not about complaining or being a martyr; this blog is about identifying the problem, realizing the hidden costs, and, most importantly, finding ways to break out of the vicious cycle that comes from working too much.
How can you tell?
You begin by doing a good job. People who work too much are dedicated, want to make a difference, care about the job they do and the people they serve, and are high achievers. These people willingly take on responsibility, and often, because they care, they start working earlier and staying later; that’s how it begins.
Not taking breaks … ever. Like working early or staying late, you start skipping breaks; at first, it’s not all of the time, but before long, you can’t remember the last time you drank a coffee at any place other than your desk.
Not taking your lunch break. The next thing can be skipping lunch, either not taking your full time or answering questions and finishing up things during your lunch break. It happens gradually, but like all of the other signs, it soon becomes all of the time. Working and eating at your desk is very unhygienic, and “burn-out” changes from becoming a possibility to a certainty because work/life balance is a major key for productivity and longevity.
Working from home but you do not work remotely. Today is Saturday, my day off, but yet have already worked two hours, the pressure I feel to “get caught up” is almost tangible. I have already worked a full week; it’s not that I “slacked off,” I have been working my rear end off all week. This sign manifests further by me working more on other weekends, on days off, including holidays; answering calls, texts, and emails, and thinking about work as well.
Knowing you cannot possibly get all of the work you are supposed to do and still trying to get it done. Remember, people who work too much are hard workers; they want to make a difference; they are not accustomed to failing; many of us identify very strongly with what we do.
This work ethic passion for what we do and that we care so much about the work and people we impact leads us to sacrifice ourselves because we believe in our organization and because the work we do is important. We have good intentions and believe that we can “win.”
The more we work, the greater the costs, and the more we will likely start to notice and be affected by hypertension, stress, irritability, and even chest pains.
You never take any sick days. There was a time I was proud of the fact that I have not called in sick this century; it’s true; I have worked through colds, flu, and other ailments because I was dedicated to a fault. Today, nobody remembers, and nobody cares.
You are working for free on purpose. At this point, you believe so much in what you are doing that you do not realize how counter-productive this dedication is; we will discuss this more in the next section.
What are the costs:
Family. When you work too much, your family is the first to suffer, and they suffer the most because of your absences and your preoccupation with your job. In the beginning, they will understand and support you; eventually, they will resent your job, and left unchecked, they will learn to live without you and no job or career is worth that price.
Friends. As with family, in the beginning, they will understand and accept that you are not as large a part of their lives, but even sooner than your family, they will go on without you, and soon you may lose touch completely. You will tell yourself; that your old friends have been replaced by your colleagues and co-workers; however, what you have in common is your job and that is not enough to sustain friendships without a time and attention commitment.
Your health. There are only 24 hours each day, you cannot save time, you can only spend it and if you are working more then something suffers. Usually, what suffers after friends and family is exercise and self-care followed quickly by the time you spend on your hobbies and other interests. Healthy food choices and time to exercise can lead to declining health, and without exercise to balance quick or unhealthy meals, a variety of health issues can result.
Your life. People can literally work themselves to death. With overwork, and lack of exercise, the stress and hyperstress that come from chronic overworking can and will likely kill you.
Nobody knows and few people around you care. People who start early and work late also tend not to draw attention to the extra work they do; as a result, many senior leaders and owners may not even be aware of what you are doing. Busy and lost in their own challenges, it is not uncommon for many organizational leaders to be unaware of the hours their people are working. If nobody appreciates or notices your sacrifices, there are also likely no rewards or recognition.
Your employer may not care, and their expectations are now impossible to achieve in a normal 40-hour week. I have experienced this dangerous situation myself. Ignorant of the extra hours, your efforts instead, of being noticed become just part of the organization’s expectations of you, trapping you even more because pulling back to normal hours will lead to a loss of production.
Expectations are raised for your co-workers. If you have decided to work harder and longer, sometimes even working for “free,” do not expect your co-workers to appreciate your dedication. Not only might you raise expectations about what you can accomplish, but you are raising theirs and actually increasing the stress and anxiety in their lives.
Opportunities are lost. When you work too much, you miss out on life that is happening around you. As we have discussed, family and friends move on with their lives, new opportunities for activities both professionally and personally also happen, and you miss out; many of these opportunities are only available once.
Intersectionality and the ripple effect. All of the signs and costs do not occur in isolation. Like multiple stones thrown into a pond, each ripples and interacts with other aspects of your life. For example, working too much can result in not eating properly and reducing the time for proper exercise; the increased stress your extra work causes then combines and can lead to significant health issues, having a multiplier effect on you.
No time to find an escape. I knew I was working too much and it was not healthy, I ignored the signs and the costs. However, starting to recognize the signs and realizing the costs is a start; but finding a path out of the cycle is difficult because you have no time to make a change.
Breaking the cycle and how to find a way out.
Talk to your supervisor this may not work as they may be the ones putting pressure on you. Hopefully, they understand and will appreciate your situation and help you reduce your workload. If you are “the boss,” begin by delegating some of your tasks and trusting your people to help with your workload.
If your boss is unresponsive, try talking to their boss or your HR person. Appreciate this is a potential minefield, and nothing may change or might even make the situation worse. However, if you are experiencing the signs and symptoms, it is important to do something.
When you are sick, be sick and stay home. You are more important than your job. Appreciate that people get sick, and when you are make sure you take care of your health.
Ask for help. If your workload is too much, who can help what can you share, often those people around you want to help you.
Take your breaks, take your lunch, and if possible go for a walk outside. Forcing yourself to do this can really help break the cycle, and the more you do this for yourself, the easier it gets. You will start to see what you have been missing even more.
It’s okay if some things don’t get done. People who work too much don’t like to fail they don’t want other people to fail; sometimes though failure isn’t the result, things just take a little longer to get finished.
Get better and use your time more effectively. Are there organizational tools you are not using that could help; are there better ways of working; appreciate there are always better ways of doing things.
Set better boundaries. Begin by reducing the time you are working outside of work time. Take your breaks. Let other people volunteer. Learn to say “No, thank you” when presented with additional work or ask, “I can do this new job, but what can I give up?”
Listen to the signs. I am not advocating not working hard and not contributing; what I am advocating is to appreciate your limits. You have one life, and it goes by very quickly; make sure you spend your time in a balanced way.
Start looking for another job within your organization or outside. If none of these suggestions work or your organization won’t let you change then know there are organizations who will want you, who will want your motivation, reliability, and dependability, and who will appreciate your efforts. It’s difficult, but it is doable, and you owe it to yourself and everyone who cares about you.
Get professional help. If nothing is working except you, then approach your local employment services, and use 211 to find them. Often these services are available for free, and they can help. Consider speaking to a therapist if you can’t let go despite knowing what it is costing you.
It is not too late, but it will get harder with each passing day that you work too much. I know, I work too much. Remember, almost everyone who works too much is highly motivated, very reliable, and extremely dependable, and these are very good attributes to have. Additionally, you are likely also very good at what you do. Just remember, you deserve to be happy and you deserve to have a life outside of work.
Good luck,
Paul.