Fear | Self-Doubt | Negative Thinking | Overthinking

Paul Wagenaar

Most of us carry a voice that questions our abilities, reminds us of our mistakes, and sometimes convinces us we’re not good enough. But how much of that voice is really ours, and how much have we learned from criticism, rejection, or being misunderstood?

This isn’t about simply thinking positively. It’s about questioning the stories we tell ourselves, recognizing when fear masquerades as fact, and taking small steps toward rebuilding our confidence.

I’ve included practical strategies, a simple four-step tool, and seven small challenges you can try at your own pace.

The Quiet Cruelty of Low Expectations

Paul Wagenaar

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Sometimes, so is the road to exclusion.

We make plans, offer accommodations, and set expectations for others, believing we’re helping. But when we leave the very person we’re trying to support out of the conversation, our good intentions can become another barrier.

Real inclusion isn’t about deciding what someone is capable of. It’s about giving them a voice in deciding what’s possible.

Sometimes the greatest harm isn’t caused by what we refuse to do for someone, but by what we decide they cannot do.

The Courage to Begin Again, and the Art of Finishing What We Start

Paul Wagenaar

What happens when something you once found easy suddenly feels impossibly difficult?

When the goal still matters, but the road to getting there is frustrating, tedious, and sometimes downright discouraging?

Inspired by Roald Amundsen’s 20-Mile March, this is a reflection on perseverance, the burden of past success, and finding a way forward when motivation isn’t enough.
Sometimes the secret to reaching a difficult goal isn’t doing something extraordinary. It’s finding a way to keep doing the ordinary, even when you’d rather be doing almost anything else.

Different Doesn’t Mean Wrong

Paul Wagenaar

I’ve hesitated to write about resumes for a long time.

Not because I don’t have opinions, but because my opinions challenge almost everything we’ve traditionally been taught.

Were told to fit our lives into rigid templates, keep it to one page, and strictly follow chronological order.

But what if your path wasnt perfectly linear? Your resume shouldnt just be a passive record of where youve been.

It should be a precision tool, carefully tailored to show an employer how your skills, strengths and experience can address their needs and solve their problems.

But heres something we often overlook. Before your resume can help an employer recognize your value, sometimes it needs to help you recognize that value yourself. The goal isnt to become the person you think an employer wants.

Its to understand what that employer needs and demonstrate, with confidence and evidence, how the person you already are can make a meaningful contribution.

Nobody Tells You This Stuff – The Things That Matter Most Aren’t Always the Things We Chase.

Paul Wagenaar

Some of life’s most important lessons aren’t taught in classrooms or found in leadership books.

They’re learned through mistakes, missed opportunities, difficult conversations, and the people who change how we see the world.

Looking back, I’ve realized that success isn’t simply about what we achieve. It’s about who we become along the way and the difference we make in other people’s lives.

Here are some lessons I wish I’d understood sooner. Perhaps a few will resonate with you.

OWNING MY OWN NARRATIVE – A tool for Disclosure, Confidence & Workplace Success

Paul Wagenaar

Disclosure can be frightening.

What if an employer judges you differently, focuses on your disability instead of your abilities, or decides not to hire you?
Owning My Own Narrative isn’t about telling people they should disclose. It’s about making an informed choice instead of allowing fear to make the choice for you.

If you decide to disclose, have a plan. Explain what you want an employer to understand, how you work best, and, most importantly, what you bring to their workplace.

Own your narrative. Know your value. Then show them what you can do.

Creating Clarity, Removing Barriers, and Finding the Right People – Rethinking Job Descriptions

Paul Wagenaar

What if some of the biggest barriers in hiring are created before anyone even applies?

“Must thrive in a fast-paced environment.” “Must be a people person.” “We’re looking for a rock star.”

What do these phrases actually mean?

A good job description should create clarity, not confusion. It should describe the work, what success looks like, what someone genuinely needs to know on day one, and what we are prepared to teach.

Maybe the goal isn’t to find the perfect applicant. Maybe it’s to give the right people an opportunity to show us what they can bring.

It’s Not About Agreeing. It’s About Deciding for Yourself.

Paul Wagenaar

We spend a lot of our lives being told what we should do.

Parents, teachers, friends, partners, bosses, mentors, advisors, their experience and opinions can be valuable. But listening isn’t the same as surrendering our decision.
Sometimes the most important question isn’t “What should I do?” but “What am I actually deciding?”

Pause. Question. Reframe. Consider the consequences. Then decide.

Not because nobody else has anything valuable to say, but because their voice shouldn’t replace yours.

Lost in Our Own Biases

Paul Wagenaar

Sometimes the problem isn’t what someone said.

It’s the story we told ourselves about what they meant.

Before we judge the person in front of us, perhaps we should turn the lens around, and question what our own assumptions are telling us.