Nobody Tells You This Stuff – The Things That Matter Most Aren’t Always the Things We Chase.

Paul Wagenaar

Some of life’s most important lessons aren’t taught in classrooms or found in leadership books.

They’re learned through mistakes, missed opportunities, difficult conversations, and the people who change how we see the world.

Looking back, I’ve realized that success isn’t simply about what we achieve. It’s about who we become along the way and the difference we make in other people’s lives.

Here are some lessons I wish I’d understood sooner. Perhaps a few will resonate with you.

OWNING MY OWN NARRATIVE – A tool for Disclosure, Confidence & Workplace Success

Paul Wagenaar

Disclosure can be frightening.

What if an employer judges you differently, focuses on your disability instead of your abilities, or decides not to hire you?
Owning My Own Narrative isn’t about telling people they should disclose. It’s about making an informed choice instead of allowing fear to make the choice for you.

If you decide to disclose, have a plan. Explain what you want an employer to understand, how you work best, and, most importantly, what you bring to their workplace.

Own your narrative. Know your value. Then show them what you can do.

Creating Clarity, Removing Barriers, and Finding the Right People – Rethinking Job Descriptions

Paul Wagenaar

What if some of the biggest barriers in hiring are created before anyone even applies?

“Must thrive in a fast-paced environment.” “Must be a people person.” “We’re looking for a rock star.”

What do these phrases actually mean?

A good job description should create clarity, not confusion. It should describe the work, what success looks like, what someone genuinely needs to know on day one, and what we are prepared to teach.

Maybe the goal isn’t to find the perfect applicant. Maybe it’s to give the right people an opportunity to show us what they can bring.

It’s Not About Agreeing. It’s About Deciding for Yourself.

Paul Wagenaar

We spend a lot of our lives being told what we should do.

Parents, teachers, friends, partners, bosses, mentors, advisors, their experience and opinions can be valuable. But listening isn’t the same as surrendering our decision.
Sometimes the most important question isn’t “What should I do?” but “What am I actually deciding?”

Pause. Question. Reframe. Consider the consequences. Then decide.

Not because nobody else has anything valuable to say, but because their voice shouldn’t replace yours.

Lost in Our Own Biases

Paul Wagenaar

Sometimes the problem isn’t what someone said.

It’s the story we told ourselves about what they meant.

Before we judge the person in front of us, perhaps we should turn the lens around, and question what our own assumptions are telling us.

Choosing a Different Way

Paul Wagenaar

We move at the speed of trust.

I may be one of the few career advisors who regularly encourage job seekers to break the rules.

Not because I don’t understand them.

Because sometimes what we call conventional wisdom is simply something we’ve repeated so often that we stopped questioning it.

I tell people to stand out: Contact employers before jobs are posted. Build relationships. Challenge assumptions. Stop making their résumé look like everyone else’s.

But there’s a catch: You can’t ask someone to take an unconventional path without first giving them a reason to trust you.

Resistance isn’t always stubbornness. Sometimes it’s fear, self-protection, or the weight of years of rejection and being told what they should do.

My job isn’t to convince people that I’m right.
It’s to help them become confident enough to question advice, including mine.

Because the goal isn’t to create followers. It’s to help people trust themselves enough to find their own way forward.

And that’s why: We move at the speed of trust.

The Opportunity Pyramid – Stop Searching for Jobs. Start Searching for Opportunity.

Paul Wagenaar

We spend an enormous amount of time talking about how to find a job. But what if we’ve been looking in the wrong places?

Most job seekers begin with the jobs everyone can see, the ones posted online. It makes perfect sense. It’s easy, accessible, and feels like the obvious place to start.

But when almost everyone is looking in the same place, competition becomes fierce, and a surprisingly large part of the opportunity landscape remains invisible.

This is a longer piece than I normally write, but I didn’t want to reduce an important idea to a few quick tips. There is more to finding opportunity than searching harder. Sometimes, the real advantage comes from changing where, and how, we look.

I hope you’ll take the time to explore it with me.

Does AI make hiring better or just faster? – What are we missing?

Paul Wagenaar

AI can make hiring faster. But faster doesn’t necessarily mean better.

As employers and job seekers increasingly use AI to navigate the hiring process, we may be creating an unintended arms race, one where both sides become better at optimizing for the system rather than discovering genuine compatibility.

The real opportunity isn’t to use AI to replace human thinking. It is to use it to challenge our assumptions, expose our blind spots, and help us recognize people the traditional hiring system might overlook.

The question isn’t whether we will use AI in hiring. We already are. How do we use it better.

When your fear is greater than your desire to succeed

Paul Wagenaar

Nothing moves forward when fear outweighs what we stand to gain. We stall, we overthink, we wait; but waiting never builds a future.

Change begins the moment your desire becomes stronger than your fear, even through the fear is still there.