“The best way to win a fight … is to avoid having one,” this oft forgotten lesson from Dale Carnegie is one of the fundamentals of “How to Win Friends and Influence people.” It is, however, only part of his lesson. A missing link is to remember that you should always try to “appreciate the other person’s perspective.”
The focus of this block is to use both components and apply them to conflicts and expectations of renters and landlords. For those people, and there are many, consider these common frustrations, but instead of looking that them from your perspective, consider them from the other side.
What would you want and expect if the roles were reversed?
As a landlord I would expect that my renter would pay the rent when it is due.
As a renter, I would expect that my landlord would respect my privacy and not invade my space without appropriate notice.
As a landlord I would expect that my renter would treat my property with respect and take care of my things.
As a renter, I would expect that my landlord would keep my home in good condition and that repairs would be made promptly.
As a landlord, I would expect that my renter would understand the need to make emergency repairs without the normal 24 hours notice.
As a renter, I would expect that my landlord would treat my concerns about mould and mildew as urgently as if it was in their home
As a landlord, I would expect that my renter would tell me if they were having trouble paying the rent in advance and work on a solution rather than simply avoiding my calls on rent day.
As a renter, I appreciate that my landlord wants to make as large a return on their investment as possible; however, they need to appreciate the laws that are designed to protect renters and landlords.
As a landlord, I would expect my renter to clean up after their pets, including anything inside or outside of the building.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to deal with problem renters who do not look after their pets, who leave their garbage for others to clean up, who disturb me and other people during the hours that people are normally sleeping.
As a landlord, I would expect my renter to respect the other renters by appreciating that sound and noise carries and to keep excessive noise to a minimum.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to give me an emergency contact number in case there is a problem.
As a landlord, I would expect that my renter would understand why I want to check references.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to ensure that I am safe and that everyone respects the security measures of the building. For example, no one can “prop” doors open for hours at a time.
As a landlord, I would expect that my renter would understand the need for having tenant insurance for their belongings and not mind if I ask for a copy of your insurance.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to have separate utility meters for each apartment.
As a landlord, I expect my renter to dispose of garbage properly and to prevent infestations of insects or rodents.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to understand that I would like to decorate my home with as few restrictions as possible.
As a landlord, I would expect my renter to be reasonable about how quickly a repair can be completed. Demanding something be done in the next hour may not be reasonable.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to have sufficient parking available for each apartment.
As a landlord, I would expect my renter to tell me the truth about having pets, especially large ones or unusual ones like snakes.
As a renter, I expect my landlord to have cleaned the apartment prior to me moving in.
As a landlord, I would expect my renter to understand that pet stains are not normal wear and tear.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to keep the lawn cut and walkways shovelled in the winter. (Note, this should be clearly stated in the lease/rental agreement)
As a landlord/renter, I would expect my renter/landlord to return my phone calls and emails.
As a renter, I expect my landlord to respect my privacy when I have a guest(s) stay over.
As a landlord, I would expect my renter to understand why they are charged a penalty if the rent is paid late.
As a landlord, I would expect my renter to understand when they clog the toilet; it is not a plumbing emergency.
As a landlord, I expect my renter not to “blast” me on social media for increasing the rent to cover the additional costs of increasing property tax.
As a landlord, I expect my renter to inform me when a roommate moves in permanently.
As a landlord, I expect my renter to give me appropriate notice before moving out.
As a landlord, I expect my renter to use the proper HE soap in the washing machine and to use dishwasher soap not dish soap in the dishwasher.
As a landlord, renting out a house, I would expect my renter to keep the grass cut and the snow shoveled. (Note, this should be clearly stated in the lease/rental agreement)
As a landlord, I would expect that my renter would understand why we do not allow walls to be painted certain colours because of the difficulty in repainting when the renter moves out.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to understand that mould and mildew is a very serious health risk and needs to be dealt with by more than just a coat of paint.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to appreciate that we have a business relationship and that any unwanted attention is harassment.
As a renter, I would expect my landlord to understand the law, with respect to what they can and cannot do.
Too often we put ourselves into “win/lose” situations and the temptation to justify our position and to see things in a simplistic “they’re wrong and I’m right” way is very powerful. Whether a landlord or a renter, try to consider the opposite perspective before heading down that particular path next time.
Good luck,