The problems we face as individuals, in our work, with our families, and as a society often can seem incredibly overwhelming.
Many days’ people wonder about simply surviving, much less about how to make a difference. When given a chance however, each of us wants to make a difference, the question really is where to start and how not to give up and succumb to the perceived futility of it all.
You can’t change everything, but you can change some things, start where you are. Try these suggestions; they work, and they can help you to make a difference …
Don’t try to change everything at once, pick a spot, pick a problem and do what you can about it. When that space is okay, pick another, and repeat. Starting is the key; it doesn’t matter where so long as you start somewhere.
Stay calm, even if you don’t feel calm; pretend externally that you are calm. The challenges that you face every moment of every day can freak people and yourself out. When this happens, try taking a deep breath and trying to keep things in perspective. Other people, if they see even one person who seems to be handling things well, might be a little calmer themselves. This is especially true for leaders, “If you can keep your wits about you while everyone else is losing theirs, then you are truly blessed.”
Prioritize the issues of your day, what needs to be done this second, what needs to be done in five minutes, an hour, by the end of the day, or what is okay tomorrow or next week. Much of the pressure we face is self-inflicted when we try to do everything as it is coming at us. Essentially, divide things into “short-term” or immediate issues; “medium-term”; and “long-term problems” and you can use whatever time scale you choose. Just try not to worry about everything at once.
Try not to get upset about the things that you have no influence over. Simply doing this exercise may eliminate many of the anxieties in your day. That doesn’t mean that “you bury your head in the sand,” rather for the moment, make those concerns a “medium” or “long-term” problem. When you have time, look at the problem(s) you set aside and then figure out “how” you might be able to influence those issues.
Be cheerful, when someone asks how you are, tell them you are doing well, try to avoid complaining. “Well,” is a relative term, people are used to people who complain, just the small act of surprising them can change their day.
Make a point of talking to everyone you work with each day. Listen and learn about the things that they are doing, and at the very least make a point of saying “Hello” to everyone.
If you are having a conversation and someone else walks by and says “Hello”, make sure that you acknowledge them, rather than simply ignoring them or considering them to be an interruption to your conversation.
Be upbeat when people bring you a problem or have a question. People expect certain reactions; if you can make a problem seem smaller and more manageable, they will too.
Say “Thank-you” more than you think you do, and try to say it at least 25 times a day. Count how many times that you say it, each day try to say it more. People like appreciation and when you start being aware of it, you will be surprised at how few people take the time and how it changes the attitudes of those you say it to.
If someone has treated you poorly, before responding “in kind” take a moment and consider their perspective. Are their comments out of character, are they under pressure; sometimes not reacting can allow them just to vent and that is all they need.
Make three people feel better about themselves every day. It must be genuine and try to pick different people each day.
Keep a “life” journal; many people find it helpful to reflect on what they are doing and how they feel about what they are doing. Write down things you are doing, things that you want to remember, things that you want to ask about.
Have a goal that you want to accomplish every day. Write it down and use phases like “Today I will …” most motivational experts preach that the simple act of writing things down will have a significant impact on how likely you will be to accomplish your goals. At the end of the day, review the list and if you got everything done, congratulate yourself; if not then use the uncompleted items as the start of the next day’s list.
Be careful with your first reaction to a problem, use whatever time you have to ask yourself 3 questions:
- What are the facts, you will likely never have all of the facts you need, but use the ones you do have;
- What are the alternatives? The first one may not always be the best one or the right one. Advertising guru, Terry O’Reilly says that usually the solution to the problem can be found in the definition of the problem, be careful of opinion and spin;
- Make a decision, there is an old quote about the best option is the “right choice” and the next best option is the “wrong choice’, because at least you took action. Sometimes you might have 3 seconds to make a decision, sometimes you might have 30 days to make a decision, use all of the time that you have.
Smile and be happy to see everyone, even people that you do not like. In a world full of difficulties, make an effort to resolve differences.
Make sure that you eat properly, which includes having breakfast. As a lifelong diabetic, proper nutrition is a fact for me; however, many people who struggle quite often either skip meals or don’t eat nutritionally balanced meals, which can have a significant impact on how your day unfolds.
Make sure that you get enough sleep. In a word of constant distractions, the ability to get whatever amount of sleep you think you need is seriously compromised. Sleep deprivation can have a major impact on how your day develops and on your personality.
Prepare for what you can. Simple things, get a good night’s sleep as much as possible, prepare your clothes the night before, pack a lunch, allow yourself 15 extra minutes to get anywhere, and make a list of the things you want to accomplish.
Find a way to spend 15 minutes a day at a minimum to learn something new: a magazine article, a podcast, e learning. Improving your skills or learning about new ways to do things can help reduce frustration and open new thought processes.
Consider your blind spots, biases, and stigma. Sometimes those things can unintentionally prevent you from accomplishing what you want. They can be minor things like being unaware how important “saying thank-you” is to the people around you to more serious things like allowing prevailing opinion from not allowing you to see the benefits of social innovations like “safe injections sites” or “why everyone should have a guaranteed living wage.”
Eat lunch with other people. A temptation to work at your desk is a weakness that I have, interact with people; they may need someone to talk to as much as it is important for you to participate.
Learn each day about the things you did well, the things that you could have done better, and the things you would do different next time. Don’t dwell on mistakes, remember the lesson only and try to impart these thoughts to others
Will considering and executing these simple suggestions make you able to make a difference? Each suggestion is small, easy to accomplish; but each of them, especially when combined; will surprise you about how much better you will feel, how those around you will feel, and how they will set the stage for you to be able to really make a difference in your world. So yes, they will.
Good luck,