Surviving a bad boss

Being stuck is never a good situation.

Being stuck with a bad boss is even worse.

What can be done?

The simple answer is to change jobs. The reality for many, however, is anything but simple. Those with limited employment opportunities, a poor education or little experience, heavy financial burdens, and a host of other reasons – are stuck. For them, quitting is not an option.

Quitting is also fraught with problems. First, when a person quits their job, they generally give up their employment insurance benefits. Second, the burden of losing their income, even temporarily, will only increase the stress in their life. Third, there is not guarantee that the person won’t have to accept an even worse job. Quitting isn’t a good option for many. 

Making a plan is a good place to begin. What are the facts? What are the alternatives? Then, make a decision.

PART A – TAKE STOCK.

Sometimes bad bosses come with the job. The person in charge may seem to deteriorate or change over time. Other times, a good boss is replaced. In the end, it doesn’t matter how it happened; now you have to deal with it.

If you can, talk to your boss about your issues. Ask politely, perhaps during a review. Be careful and try to build a rapport with the person. If they are new to the company or you do not know them, try to find things that you have in common. Work to build a relationship with them.  The issue may be a simple misunderstanding and “clearing the air” can work wonders.

Talk to your Human Resources representative. Ask for the conversation to be kept confidential if you can. Explain the situation and stick to facts, then ask them for their suggestions and guidance. Remember, HR people are part of your organization’s chain of command – expect that they will give some version of your conversation to senior management. 

Talk to their supervisor or the owner/executive director. Depending on the size of your organization, this can be intimidating. As with above point, make sure that you are polite and stay professional. This works well if the person is not aware of the issues. As a note, many people find these conversations very difficult – it is not uncommon for people to get very emotional, and perhaps even to cry. Do not feel embarrassed if that happens. The stress that a bad boss can generate is very real and very personal.

Talk to your co-workers. Choose your confidantes well – some people will immediately go to someone like your boss, or simply spread gossip around the workplace.

PART B – ESCALATION 

If after trying all of the steps in Part A, you may choose to escalate the issue. There are a variety of methods that might work. 

It is worth mentioning you should be keeping written documentation of everything that is happening to you. Be concise, and include dates, times, the facts, and who is present when having conversations with your boss.

Contact your local labour board for advice. If you feel you are being targeted or bullied by your employer, contact your labour board and speak to a representative. I have spoken to many people whose employers attempted to bully them and the labour board stepped in and corrected the situation. Organizations cannot operate outside of labour laws and employment agreements cannot supersede those laws. 

Learn how to handle unfair performance reviews. The labour board can offer suggestions and advice on these situations as well. 

Consider obtaining legal advice. If a situation is escalating, consider getting legal advice. If you do not have a lawyer, contact 211 or investigate legal aid options in your community.

Consider going on stress or medical leave. As with all escalations, there are consequences. Before taking this route, ensure that you seek professional help from your family doctor or another trusted medical professional. 

Alternatives to escalation. If you decide to stay because you are in a situation where you need the money, consider the following points:

  • Can you request a transfer within your company? In larger organizations, this may be a possibility.
  • Can you avoid situations where you have to deal with your boss? This is difficult and is likely only a temporary solution.
  • Can you make yourself less of a target? This is also very difficult and is likely only a temporary fix.
  • Upgrade your skills. If you cannot quit because you are stuck financially, find a way to unstick yourself. Online courses, night school, and government programs are all ways to increase your skill level and to broaden your employment options.

PART C – DECIDING TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT 

If your situation seems hopeless, remember, looking for a job while you are still working will look better to a perspective employer and will ease the financial stress on you and your family.

Update your resume. This is always a good idea, regardless of your work situation. Make sure it is current and have a list of references that you can rely on.

Speak to your references. Good references will understand, they will offer advice, and they will keep confidences well. Some might even be aware of opportunities that could help you find a better job.

Only tell people you trust about your plans. If you decide to look for another job, be careful to whom you share those plans. Some businesses will not handle the situation well and some people cannot hold confidences despite all of their assurances. 

Having a bad boss can cause very real stress and anxiety. Remember, you have rights and you have options. If you feel stuck because of family obligations, financial pressures or because there is a lack of opportunities, do not despair. There is help and there are choices.

Good luck,

Paul.