For many people, heading off to university or college is their first experience on their own. It is a different experience for everyone; some handle it well and thrive, some do not, and the rest fall somewhere in between.
As a parent, we tried to help each of our three kids as they embarked on this journey. This is the advice we gave.
Live in residence the first year.
The friendships and experiences of post-secondary learning are as much social as they are academic. Living at home or off-campus the first year can be tempting because of cost, but being among people and planned activities for first-year students should not be missed. For the following years, living off-campus can be good; however, balance the appearance of a cheaper cost of living with the fact that housing can be expensive, especially since most renters will want students to sign a lease for the entire year.
Get involved.
Take advantage of the breadth of experiences in university or college. Join clubs, intermural sports, and whichever organizations catch your attention. For quiet or shy students, this can be an opportunity to re-invent yourself. Having fun and the ability to start networks are both important parts of the post-secondary experience.
University/College is not high school.
The study habits and work attitude you used in high school may need to be different. In high school, teachers and instructors cared about you getting your work finished. Post-secondary instructors and professors expect you to do the work. It is not that they do not care about their students; there are just too many first-year students for them to chase down in their own time. Remember, if you are struggling, you can always go and talk to them yourself.
University / College is like a job.
Try to put in at least eight hours of study/class time every day. Additionally, many instructors expect the standard of one hour of lecture time and one hour of doing extra reading or preparation. No one is going to follow you around to make sure you are working. If you do not get the work done, you will simply fail.
University / College is your job.
Try to avoid having a part-time job or job if possible. Carrying a full academic load and trying to work 10 to 20 hours a week is very stressful and leads to anxiety. Research and apply for grants and scholarships; many of these go unused because students do not apply for them or are not aware of them. If you do need to work, consider on-campus employment – these positions cater to students and are more lenient on scheduling issues.
Don’t skip classes.
This is not just the parent in me lecturing. While it can be very tempting to skip classes, especially boring or early-morning ones in the first and second year, don’t. In class, your instructor will cover more than just is what is in the readings. In addition, and particularly close to exams, many instructors will actually tell students exactly what the questions are.
The obvious.
Try to apply yourself in your core or required subjects. Achieving top marks will help with getting into graduate school if that is in your plans. It will also help with finding a job, getting scholarships, and will establish a good reputation with the instructors and professors.
Balance the heavy courses with electives that interest you and expose you to fresh ideas and new thinking.
Put up your hand, answer questions, and take advantage of office time.
Too many students don’t put themselves out there. By volunteering and getting to know your instructors and professors, you will stand out; the networking opportunities for yourself never end.
Professors will help students who make the effort to be more than everyone else does. This might just be one of the most important lessons in this post.
You will have difficult instructors or professors.
Some are just as happy to lecture to an empty classroom as one that is full of students. It is up to you to find a way to succeed in these classes; they will not change for you. It is also a great way to prepare for the future, as these types of people will be present throughout your career.
Try not to get behind.
If it happens, ask for help. University and college can be very stressful and students who get behind need to tell people. Academic and mental pressures can break some people and every school has support resources available, often for free.
Learn to accept and acknowledge the pressure.
Many schools have workshops and resources to help with this topic. Writing an exam that is worth 100% of your grade can be very stressful. Learning how to cope with that pressure is not a skill everyone has, but you are not the first person to face this; learn the skills you need to help you succeed. Ask and know what can happen if you are sick for an exam and be prepared. If you fail an exam, ask the instructor if you can rewrite or do a makeup exam, as there are ways to redeem a “bad day.”
Don’t answer an exam in the order it is written.
With any exam, read the entire exam before you start answering the questions. Do the questions you know best first, leaving the ones you don’t know as well to the end. Always answer every question, even if you are guessing – many times part-marks will mean the difference between success and failure. Stay for the entire time allocated for an exam and review your answers before turning the exam in. If you can’t finish the entire thing, do your best to answer as many questions as possible.
Embrace presentations.
For those students who do not like public speaking, get help. Virtually everyone is nervous but having this skill will give you a huge advantage academically and professionally.
Here are some helpful suggestions:
- Volunteer to go first, few other students will do this and you will get noticed by the instructor and perhaps even marked easier, plus most importantly then it will be done;
- Don’t be intimidated by a room full of people, talk to one at a time and move to a different person in a different part of the room after twenty seconds or so;
- Be prepared, this makes a big difference, do your presentation several times to a mirror or a friend;
- If you make a mistake, correct and move on, everyone does;
- Relax, I have done presentations and I am still nervous with each one, but I find them exciting and fun.
Alcohol, drugs, and sex.
All are present when you go away. Understand the implications of each and do your best to make informed decisions. Never leave a drink unattended, never go to class under any influence, be prepared, and practice safe sex. Anyone who thinks students won’t experiment is wrong; education and awareness are more helpful.
High School Boyfriend or Girlfriend.
Don’t be afraid or surprised if your high school relationships don’t last when you are away at college or university. It happens.
Summer job.
If you have a really good job the summer before going away, ask them before heading off to school if you can come back the next summer.
Having or looking for a summer job and having it locked down long before anyone else is looking will take tons of pressure off you.
Going to university or college can be one of the best experiences in your life; try to balance the academic experience with the life experience without forgetting that they are both important.
Good luck,
Paul.