A short guide to quitting a job

You have been worrying about this for days and dreading it since you arrived at work this morning.

You know you have to do it before the end of the day but you have still been putting it off.

Finally, you build up your courage, knock on your boss’s door, your voice cracks as you start talking, and even though you practiced what you wanted to say, your words abandon you and everything comes out in a jumble. 

Has this happened to you?  It has to me. 

Quitting a job fills many people with anxiety.  It is understandable, especially early in your career.  However, know this anxiety affects older people as well.  It is not just you.

Quitting a job isn’t something most people do very often.  It will likely always be stressful, but it is a skill and a process you can learn.

For some people, quitting a job is easy.  They walk into their boss and quit.  No-fuss, no stress, they are just done.  However, these people are in the minority. 

The rest of us feel anxious and stressed about quitting.  Some of us feel guilty because we will be leaving behind friends and co-workers.  Some of us feel that we are letting our boss and/or organization down.  Some of us dread the idea of leaving our safe and secure comfort zones.  Some are afraid of confrontations.  Whatever the cause of the anxiety, if any of these apply to you, then this post might help.

Let’s back up and add some perspective and some things you can do. 

People quit all the time.  Replacing people is just a natural part of doing business.  Although less common in very small organizations, all organizations change, grow, and evolve … people come and they go.  Think about your own organization, how many people have come and gone in the last year or two years, it happens.  Your organization and/or your boss expects this and should have plans in place for when it happens. 

Your boss might be disappointed, but they will understand.  If they are upset that you are leaving, take this as a compliment and appreciate their position.  Your departure will create more work for them: they have to post your job, sort through resumes, interview, hire, onboard, and train a new person. Each step is expensive and time-consuming.  Two weeks’ notice barely covers the first step, so expect that their reaction will be disappointment, but it is not personal towards you.

Providing sufficient notice is always appreciated.  Always try to give as much notice as you can, as seldom is two weeks notice enough time for any organization to fill an unexpected gap in their team. 

You should have another job before you quit.  Although not always possible this helps eliminate the stress of how are you going to survive.  For your own needs try to avoid quitting one job before you have accepted and signed all the paperwork with a new organization.   This is perhaps one of the most important points, particularly if you have a family and/or other responsibilities.

Burning bridges is bad.  As much as any organization expects people to leave, your departure may be a surprise.  Try to avoid leaving on “bad” terms or by “venting” all of your pent-up frustrations.  Recently I wrote on a post on taking “the high road,” which is important when leaving an organization.  As good as it might feel to unload your frustrations, consider future references, particularly since the world is much smaller than you might think.  Being polite and respectful does not cost you anything. 

Before you announce your plans to quit, consider tying up “loose ends.”  Most employers will take the news of your leaving well; however, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.  If you have a company cell phone, purchase one of your own.  Transfer and then delete your personal contacts, your pictures, and any other personal information from the phone.  Do the same thing with your computer.  Do not delete any company information, but any personal emails, browser history, private jokes, or anything else you don’t want to be shared should be gone.

Included in “loose ends” would be ensuring that all your expense receipts have been submitted and any medical or benefit receipts have been submitted and paid because, depending on the organization, your benefits may be terminated when you quit.  If you have a company vehicle, which is increasingly rare, have a plan in case they take the keys. 

Be prepared to teach someone else what you do.  If given the opportunity, make sure that you help the organization deal with the enviable “knowledge hole” that you are creating.  If asked, do an “exit” interview.

Try not to wait until the end of the day.  If you are going to quit on a certain day, do it early: it doesn’t get any easier the longer you leave it.  It is a hard thing to do and you cannot control how they will react.  If they react well or poorly is entirely out of your control, but you owe it to yourself to do it as soon as you can.   

Remember you are quitting for a reason.  On the other side of the anxiety and stress is a new opportunity.  It takes real courage and bravery to leave one situation and to break out of your comfort zone.  As anxious as you might feel, the feeling will not last forever.

Provide a resignation letter.  A brief dated letter addressed to your boss and cc’d for the Human Resources department is proper.  The letter should mention how much notice you are providing and when you would like your last day to be. 

Be prepared for the emotional letdown.  Once you have told your boss, do not be surprised if you tear up or even cry.  It is part of the process: do not be embarrassed, and if necessary ask for a few minutes to collect yourself before leaving your boss’s office.  Everyone reacts differently, but by pulling the Band-Aid off, most of the pressure also disappears.

What if your employer is upset with you?  This can happen especially if you are leaving for a competitor.  If your employer asks you to leave immediately which can happen ask about your final pay, vacation pays, and if in sales, what happens to your outstanding commissions?  If this happens, take the opportunity to join your new organization early. 

Telling your co-workers.  This depends on you and your organization.  It is not necessarily up to you to tell anyone you are leaving, so discuss this with your boss.  Give your boss a little time to consider how they want to deal with this, particularly if your resignation was unexpected.  If you have told your co-workers before your boss, don’t be surprised that your boss already knows.  Generally, if you tell co-workers that you are going to quit, try to ask them to keep it confidential, too many people like drama and can’t help themselves.

In my experience, almost everyone quits the same way.  Whenever a person would nervously knock on my door and ask me “Paul, do you have a moment?” I knew they were quitting.  I would ask, “When’s your last day,” and inevitability they would say, “How did you know?”  I would try to put them at ease and I would always understand because I appreciated the obvious stress that they were feeling. 

If you are like me and find quitting a job to be difficult and stressful, that stress can be minimized.  Remember that your employer will likely be disappointed but they will understand.  Take some time and prepare, and know that you are not the only person who feels that way.

Good luck,

Paul.