It can happen for any number of reasons: the how and why doesn’t really matter.
One day you are a senior level executive, manager or associate with many successful years with the same company behind you, and then the next day you are gone.
Sometimes there is severance, sometimes there is not. Many times, you are thanked for your years of service, dedication, sacrifice, and the long hours; other times, you are simply walked to the door. You are left standing outside with a box of your things, wondering how you are going to tell your family and what comes next. Regardless of the way and reasons, it is over.
It is a difficult thing to comprehend, much less understand.
What do you do?
Shock is usually the first reaction, then anger, disappointment, and doubt. Before long, you will experience the whole spectrum of emotions – including fear.
Throughout your recovery and even afterwards you will continue to experience all of these emotions, sometimes without warning. Some will be more painful than others, especially the loss of ego, confidence, and friends.
If unchecked, it is very easy to enter a downward spiral. Even if you seem to be handling it well, the spectre of these losses may still be the most insidious challenge that you will face.
The older a person is – chronologically or mentally – the greater the impact of your job loss may be compared to people who are at the start or middle of their career. Fear and worry enter the equation because of your responsibilities for mortgages, kids in university, and impact on retirement savings. For many older people, losing a job later in life can dramatically threaten their financial security for the rest of their lives.
Now is a good time to mention … it will get better. However, it will not happen on its own.
Like most things, this is a process. If counselling is available, take advantage of it: it will help.
Acknowledge what has happened, and take a deep breath. It’s time to make some decisions.
Appreciate that you will never earn another cent from your previous employer. It will take a while to accept that, regardless of the reason why it happened. Try not to second-guess what you did or could have done better: it doesn’t matter. That bridge is gone and forward is your only direction.
Take a deep breath and realize that your life has fundamentally changed. Your plans and future are going to be on hold until you can fix this; the future is going to be different from what you thought even a week ago.
Take stock of your situation. Can you afford to pay your bills? Get some advice from a professional if necessary: there are a multitude of resources available, some for a fee and others free. Talk to someone to help make those decisions. These tasks can be tackled relatively easily and they will help you get moving forward. They are not, however, the real challenge…
The real challenge – getting your head back on properly
This is tough for anyone, but I think it is especially tough for older people.
These are some of the challenges that you will have to overcome. You will find your friends, former co-workers will think of you differently, and you will think of yourself differently.
You are too old.
Age discrimination is illegal in Canada, but it happens. Stigma and preconceived ideas can work against older workers. There is a perception that younger workers are more resilient, have fresher ideas, and are more willing to change. Whether true for some people, it is certainly not true for everyone. Magazine articles will often feature the top innovators under 30 years of age: when was the last time you saw the same headline for anyone over 50?
What to do: Older people need to accept this as reality and then find ways to overcome this obstacle. For example, an older person can begin by applying himself or herself to demonstrate in interviews and on their resume, and why they are better suited for a position because of their skills and experiences.
You are overqualified. As an older worker, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that many of us have lots of experience and have likely done many different things in our careers. Some people can be intimidated by that. It is also difficult to apply for jobs that you know you can do, have done, and not get an interview because you are perceived as overqualified.
What to do: Life experience is a valuable commodity. Update your resume to show the most relevant aspects of your career, but be sure to evolve and reinvent your resume over time. Work with resources like the YMCA employment services to find ways to tailor your resume so employers will see your skills as the assets they are, rather than as an indication that you are not going to be happy doing a job that seems lesser than your last one.
What is wrong with you? Losing your job for any reason is going to be a “red flag” to some people. If you were terminated, some people will assume the worst; some people will wonder, some people won’t care, and some people will want to know why.
What to do: There may be nothing wrong with you, but as a person who may not have looked for work in quite a while or as someone who may have gotten every job they have ever applied for, you need to be prepared for this question. Explain the circumstances in a very positive way and use this as an opportunity to highlight what skills you have available.
Why did they get rid of you? This is a reasonable question. As a prospective employer, I would want to know.
What to do: Frame your departure in the most positive way possible. As with so many of these points, the issue isn’t the question. Rather, the challenge lies in having a positive answer.
What about your self-confidence? Even if losing your job wasn’t because of anything that you had done, many people will lie awake and wonder, “What if?” Even during the daytime, something will trigger a memory or someone will make a comment, and you will find yourself thinking about what you used to do. The hole in your confidence is real – accepting it will help you start to build forward.
What to do: This is where a counsellor will help; it is worth the money if you can afford it. If you cannot afford one, then speak to someone from a free resource like YMCA employment services: they can help. It is natural to have doubts, but people who have helped others can help you with this as well.
What about worrying? Even if you are only responsible for yourself, you will worry about your security. If you have a family and a mortgage or a lease, you will worry. The uncertainty of the future, even if you happen to collect employment insurance, will loom on the horizon like some kind of forbidding storm.
What to do: Take stock, adjust your budget accordingly, speak to an employment counsellor, and get help. Adjust things so you can afford to live for now, then make a plan and start to execute it. Expect that in the short-term you will experience a substantial income drop. It is also possible that you will have to accept a short-term position that provides less money and benefits, depending on the economic situation in your community. Alternatively, you may need to move, which brings more questions and potentially more anxiety.
How you are viewed and accepted by others. Until this happened to me, I never really considered this to be an issue. As a senior executive, your ego gets used to being treated a certain way. When the executive part is suddenly removed and you are just an older person without that frame of reference, people will treat you differently. In one way, this is a fascinating exercise; in another, it is an incredible lesson in humility.
What to do? The only thing different about you is the job. Remember that you are more than simply what you did to earn a living. How you act and treat other people will determine how they treat you. Tell people and start building networks – we will talk more about this in the follow-up post.
Reinvention and coming back. I have purposely kept this section brief. Acknowledging all of the emotions is the first step. Many people including myself have underestimated how important it is to deal with those feelings, and they are very real. Once that is accomplished, you can start on the problem and work yourself back. You may never get another job exactly like what you had; you may not get a job with the same money, benefits, or vacation. That’s okay and should be expected – you have to start somewhere.
It happened for any number of reasons. How and why really doesn’t matter. The fact of the matter is that it did happen. No amount of worry or hand-wringing will change that fact. Keep in mind that the job is over, but you are not.
You need to move forward, take the time to appreciate how you feel, talk to other people who have been through this. They made it, and so will you. In an upcoming post, we will discuss some suggestions on ways to rebuild your career.
Good luck,
Paul.