Are your associates afraid to talk to you?

Many managers and owners will tell you that their associates will tell them anything, I hope that they are right; however, that is not the case in many organizations. 

The issue likely has to do with the fact that many bosses say they are open to any discussion and they always have an “open door”, when in fact the only opinion they are interested in hearing is their own, and god help anyone who dares to disagree with them. 

Why don’t people say what’s on their mind: 

They are afraid: for their job; for being singled out; of their boss.

They have been sucked in before by someone else and got burned; and do not trust you to react any differently, you can probably think of examples that you have seen in your career.

You might shut them down or defend instead of listening, it is an easy trap to fall into.

They think that you can’t keep confidences, and what if their comments come back to bite them from an unexpected source. 

They don’t know how, no one has ever encouraged them to do so. 

I am sure there are lots of others reasons too.  Adding to the problem are the who do talk, but only say what they think you want to hear because of the above reasons. 

As a leader you must develop and earn their trust

You must encourage them to speak their mind, hopefully constructively, but even if it is not, encourage them for next time. 

You must listen, not talk, not defend, let them speak their opinions, ask questions, and listen some more.

Thank them for their input and consider it, you may or may not be able to do the things they suggest but it by actually listening, you can start to build up their trust. 

Your organization will be stronger when people are encouraged to contribute what they really think and to help the company avoid mistakes. 

If you fail to do this, several things may happen: 

  • You will lose good associates to your competition
  • Your organization will only go as far as you can push it
  • Those associates you keep, will agree with everything you say, even if it means driving the company into the ground. 

Questions that your associates may be afraid to ask you or tell you: 

1.      Can we discuss a raise?  This is the obvious question that most people really struggle with and for every person who actually asks, there are likely several more who are thinking about it but don’t ask.  

My suggestion is to have a clear policy on how pay increases work and let all your associates know what to expect; it might be annual performance conversations with increases based on that or some other mechanism.  Whatever you do, have clarity so your associates know what to expect. 

2.      I need a personal day, should I call in sick and use a sick day or can you work with me? Many times people will take a sick day and not be sick, it might be because of a child being sick, they might have family issues; regardless, try to encourage your people to talk to you, if a good associate has small children, you should anticipate this issue and talk to them early and tell them that you will work with them and for them to be honest with you, it will pay huge dividends in the long run by eliminating stress from their lives. 

3.      I think this new _______________ is really a bad idea, could we talk about it? It would be nice if all of our ideas were perfect right out of the box, but they are not.  When you introduce new ideas and procedures, ask for feedback, listen, evaluate, and involve your associates where you can.  You can’t always modify things; however, allowing input may improve the implementation of the idea and help make it succeed. 

4.      I think we should try this idea, _____________________ could we discuss it?  If someone has an idea on how to make things better, whether an older associate or a brand new one; take the time, none of us has a monopoly on good ideas.  If it fails, look at why it failed, what could be improved, and never blame one person for something that failed.  If it worked, make sure the praise goes to the person and the team for its success. 

5.      I would like to learn how to do this _________________, do you think it is possible?  Some people are happy doing the same job forever, many are not.  Encourage professional development for all of your staff.  Finding and training people is a huge expense, if you can teach them more skills, usually they will be happier and more useful to the organization. 

6.      I’m not really happy with what I am doing, could we discuss ways to make the job better?  Most people who ask this question may have already started looking for another job, and as mentioned in #5, good people are hard to find and expensive to train.  Regular reviews and daily interaction can help with this; but, if someone comes to you with this, make sure you do something and do it quickly because if you don’t, they will be gone. 

7.      _________________ is really dragging down the department, I know they are your relative, but it is really affecting morale?  I put this in because many small businesses are family businesses and I have worked in family businesses where this has been a significant problem.  

In a few family businesses, including some national chains, there can be an arrogance amongst second and third generations that just because someone is related to the original generation that they have an intrinsic gene that makes them better than everyone else.  As a manager or owner, you should always be careful if this develops and take steps to ensure that people are valued because of the contribution they make, not because of their last name. 

8.      _________________ is really dragging down the department, I didn’t want to say anything, but it is really affecting morale?  If someone brings you this kind of information, one of your first questions should be to ask them “How do you think I should investigate?” some people want you to know but don’t want to be seen as the person who told you, you have to respect that, but there are other ways to deal with it.  As the leader or manager, if people bring you problems, you must be seen to being doing something about resolving the issue, otherwise they will not trust you. 

9.      Those new procedures need some modifications, can we discuss them? Listen to their perspective, take time to consider their input and look at improvements, if someone has brought suggestions forward without being prompted, this is a great step forward for you as a leader and as an opportunity to build your team. 

10.  When you asked us for feedback, do you really want to hear our opinions?  If you ask for opinions, be prepared to accept the responses, particularly if you do not agree with them.  Especially if you do not agree with them.  Honesty can hurt sometimes, but it is better than blind obedience, as a manager having someone willing to disagree with me in this type of situation helps me to keep my feet on the ground and to make better decisions. 

I have been a leader, supervisor, or manager for most of my life and one thing in particular is something I always tried to overcome was the fear that some people have about speaking honestly me.  Fortunately, many of the people I have been responsible for, have done that, and as a result, together we succeeded, and our staff turnover was greatly reduced.