Lean into the skid …

Everybody has heard the statistics that more people are afraid of public speaking than they are about dying.

Whether true or not, public speaking does create high levels of anxiety for most people. 

The fear is very real.  Left unchecked, the fear can cost opportunities professionally, academically, and personally. 

Overcoming this fear can be difficult, but it is possible.  Here are some shared tips that other people have shared with me, that can and will help you or someone you know.

You are going to be nervous … everyone is.  Being the focal point for any group of people is naturally going to create a sense of anxiety.  Realizing this is true for virtually everyone can help you deal with the situation.   I have made thousands of presentations and I still am nervous before each one. 

A mentor shared an important realization with me, she said that you are anxious because you want to do a good job, you care and are passionate about what you are going to say and it matters.

Overwhelmed by a room full of people … talk to one person at a time.  A great way to alleviate feelings of anxiety is to focus on one person at a time.  Start with one person in the middle of the room, speak to them for 10 seconds, turn left or right and pick someone else, repeat, and then turn the other way and do the same thing.  If direct eye contact is difficult for you, pick a spot about 3 or 4 inches from their ear, from a distance you’ll appear to have good eye contact and be more relaxed.

What if I make a mistake? … you will, everyone does.  Mistakes happen all the time, don’t make a big deal about them, correct yourself and move on.  Own your mistakes, they make you relatable, they make you human. 

What if I don’t know something … acknowledge that you don’t.  Even experts get stumped sometimes.  If someone asks a question that you don’t know, thank them for the question, tell them that you will have to check because you don’t want to give them the wrong information, and move on.  Afterward, follow up with a response to them. 

Volunteer to be first if possible … it can make a big difference.  This is especially true for students.  From personal experience, you could be marked easier, teachers and instructors will appreciate someone volunteering, and then you can relax. For many students, the anxiety of public speaking is magnified by worrying that they will be chosen next.

Be prepared … practice your presentation.  The more you practice, the better your presentation will sound and the more comfortable you will feel.     An additional benefit of practicing will be that you will know your topic better as well.

How much time do you have … practice your presentation.  Presentations for school or delegations to businesses often will have an expected duration, practicing will determine whether you need to expand or contract your presentation, try to avoid talking faster or slower.

What if my presentation is boring … practice your presentation.  This is easier than people fear.  Speak with passion, inflection, and use your hands while you talk.  Practice is the key, the first few times start by reading your presentation, then gradually just use your notes to stay on track.  As you speak, talk to people, try to engage them even one person at a time, and try to relax. 

My hands shake when I talk … mine do too.  This is an easy fix.  Try to avoid holding onto paper by itself, use a clipboard or a podium, I use my notes just to stay on track and leave them on a flat surface and just refer back to them. 

Everyone will know I’m nervous … most people can’t tell.  Try to act as if you’re not nervous, but people will understand so just do your best.  Also, the more you practice the less nervous you will seem. 

Breathe … have a water bottle.  Take deep breaths and remember that when you talk for extended periods, having a bottle of water, preferably a sports bottle with a straw, will make you much more comfortable. 

Smile … you will feel better. 

Everyone else seems so relaxed why can’t I … watch other people and learn.  You will be able to see other people are as nervous as you are.  Also, watch for techniques that you can copy, mine was not holding onto paper because my hands shake, see how other people deal with the same fears you have. 

Who should I practice in front of … friends, family, mentors, or record it on your phone or using a mirror.  Start by yourself and when you feel ready ask someone to watch and listen.  Begin by just asking them to listen, after one or two times, ask for their opinions and suggestions. 

Have people give you feedback afterward on what you did right, what you did wrong, and what you would do differently next time.

What else can I do … dress to be comfortable.  Being comfortable in your own skin is important.  Dress in layers so that if it is hot, you can remove a layer.  Wear comfortable shoes so your focus is not distracted.

Finally, will I always be nervous?  … I am, but you may get to a point where enjoy public speaking.  It might be hard to believe it, but it is true.  The ability to master public speaking will open up doors and opportunities for you and it is worth the effort. 

My advice is to acknowledge that public speaking is to do what you do when being caught in a skid when driving, turn into the skid.  It seems counter-intuitive, but it works, don’t shy away from the opportunity to public speak, embrace it, practice it, the more you do, the better you will become.

Good luck,

Paul