20/20 the irony is not lost on me. This has been a difficult year for everyone and its issues will linger into 2021 for us all; however, sometimes the greatest lessons come from the most difficult of times and I cannot think of a year where I have learned more.
- Expect Ingratitude – Dale Carnegie was absolutely correct when he made this statement and many people tried to warn me about this but I was stubborn and did not listen. It is important not to be cynical, each person should do their best in whatever they try; but don’t expect everyone to appreciate your work. My lesson is do the best you can, be fair, consistent, and honest; and know that it is important to you, even if no one else thinks that way.
- Keep your sense of perspective and beware of your blind spots – We all have blind spots; some are aware of them and others are not. The lesson is to ask people you trust whether or not you are on the right track and that your assumptions are correct. If these people tell you that you are wrong, take the time to consider their perspective and be grateful for their opinions, and trust that they are trying to help you.
- Consider Counter-intuitive solutions – Recently I listened to Terry O’Reilly make a presentation on this subject and I subscribe to his philosophy of trying to standing out, of trying to be different and trying to come up with fresh ideas and novel solutions. We can become so entrenched in trying to improve certain things that sometimes we lose sight of the fact what we are trying to improve may not be the best solution to whatever our problem is. This is perhaps the greatest lesson for me in 2020.
- You may have unexpected friends – In this year of Covid-19, looking for a new job, and in experiencing several other setbacks, I was very disappointed being abandoned by many people who I had gone out of my way to help over the years. Being forgotten about might have been bad enough; however, some of them seemed to vilify me and this cut very deeply into my confidence and my belief in who I was. However, for each one who abandoned me, I found at least as many who were supportive, who stood by me and believed in me. People who I hadn’t spoken to in years because of distance and time, who called/emailed/texted with words of support, even some people who I did not believe really liked me. The lesson, people who see that you try your best, really do see and appreciate you, even if they don’t say anything at the time.
- Always do what you think is right – To be sure in your life and job you will have to compromise many things; but, do not compromise your values and your sense of what is right and wrong. They say there is no such thing as an “innocent bystander” because if you stand by and watch something happen that is wrong, then your silence makes you complicit. In your professional life you will see many things, the lesson is, when you see something that is wrong, that costs the trust of your customers, your fellow associates, the business owners, or anyone else, you have a responsibility to say something.
- Pick your battles – This is not a contradiction to (5), my lesson for this point is that to have influence you must have “a seat at the table,” you must work with those who you wish to change, and you cannot expect change to happen quickly … unfortunately. If you can keep your short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals all within a 180-degree arc then you will likely be far more successful than those people who do not appreciate the timing or the importance another’s perspective.
- Spend the time to develop your skills and keep learning – When you have down time, always spend some of it developing and improving your skills. During the first Covid-19 lock down, I tried to read a book a week on improving my skills, I listened to podcasts and webinars, I looked for free on-line learning sessions, and read trade magazines. Professional development, even when self-directed will keep your mind sharp, active, and strengthen your competitive edges. I started this blog on business tips for small and medium-sized businesses as a way to develop and strengthen my skills, and also, to build my network of business and personal contacts.
- Help whoever you can, however you can – Perhaps the best reminder lesson for 2020 was making use of my skills as a volunteer. Being out of work, like I was, or laid off can be very difficult. You question your skills, you question your ability, and you can lack purpose. One of the best lessons for me was my decision to volunteer, to try and help other people during my down time. I was given the opportunity to volunteer with the United Way: it got me out of the house, it was a challenge, it was important, I got to meet new people, and it helped other people at a time when I was kind of feeling sorry for myself and it reminded me that, everything wasn’t about me.
- Develop business relationships and interactions – Building on point (8), several opportunities presented themselves as a result of making myself available as a volunteer. LinkedIn was a valuable tool, as was as starting conversations with managers and owners of businesses that I frequented. I was able to build some networking opportunities and do some consulting work, simply by being genuinely interested in their businesses and using my business acumen to help them. In every situation, opportunities exist if you can see them, it might mean working for free as I did to show people what you can do, but it is worth the effort and the time.
- Appreciate that that everything has a price – I always knew that life wasn’t black and white. In my experience life is made up of hundreds of shades of gray. It is also equally apparent that victories can be small or large but you need to take them where you can. Sometimes the price of being right isn’t worth the cost of time and effort. This isn’t cynical, it is reality, and the lesson is to trade your time for things that are important and worth the cost to you. I used to want to fight and win every battle and I appreciate now that to allow other people to win sometimes works better to build allies and encourage/develop those people on my team than winning myself every time. In addition, losing occasionally can teach important lessons, from reinforcing humility to knowing never to underestimate your competition. Sometimes realizing that “thinking and evaluating” is an action step is the key to making a right decision.
- Look for satisfaction and joy in small things and unusual places – It is cliché to say that the journey is more important that the destination; however, it is worth trying to remember those small moments that are easily missed. From family moments to moments when someone who has struggled, masters a new skills or behavior, feelings of joy and accomplishment are everywhere, you just have to look.
- Beware of false kingdoms and high silos – In all types of businesses and organizations, whether “for profit” or “charitable” there are egos and territorial people who have forgotten what is important in what they are doing. While definitely more prevalent in the private sector, it does exist in the non-profit sector as well. It used to make me mad, now I only feel disappointment and pity for those people, they are so wrapped up in their success they are completely oblivious to what “could be”, if they would only let go of trying to control everything. I have been guilty of this kind of behavior myself in the past, now I realize that sometimes the key to getting what you want is having the strength to let go of control to make things happen.
- Appreciate those people who stick by you – Without repeating the lesson of point (4) it is important to recognize the mentors and friends we all have at some point. I have been very lucky to have worked with many exceptional people, I have had bosses like Bruce Beattie and Francesca Dobbyn. I have had co-workers like Tom Gillies, Rob Farrow, Paul Berenson, and Ron Knowles. I have had the opportunity to help develop people like Chad Cutting, Steve Rogers, Ally Sands, Laura Sarlo, and many others. As I have struggled with many difficulties this year, but these people and many others, who kept believing in me, those people who offered help and even just talked to me in the face of many “dark days”. I would like to thank each one of them, and make the offer, that if you ever need that kind of support, that I will be there for you, to repay your kindness and faith in me.
I would like to thank you for reading this post and any of the other ones I have written. I hope you find them interesting and that you can benefit from the lessons, many of which I have had to learn the hard way.
Paul.