Feel out of control. Feel like you are given new tasks every day and you haven’t finished the tasks from yesterday. Can you not remember your last raise or even something as simple as being told you are doing a good job. Do you spend more of your day at work than you do at home? Have your children adjusted to life without you? I know how this feels.
Often one person is at the centre or cause of these feelings … your boss.
Have you ever wanted to complain about your boss but felt you had no mechanism that you could access, or do you feel that if you did, you would be the one punished not your boss? Some complaints are minor, others can be quite severe. Many of us feel frustrated and powerless to influence this situation.
Maybe there is a path you could try. Have you considered ways that you might be able to “manage your boss?” I am not suggesting anything overt, for depending on the personality, maturity, skill level, and attitude of your boss; failing to use subtlety, diplomacy, and tact could make your situation worse.
What I am suggesting are some tips and/or lessons that have worked for me.
Add value every day and earn their trust. If you are experiencing any of the emotions mentioned above this might be difficult, it might seem as if you are positively responding to your boss’s negative behavior. Often when people are frustrated, they will reduce their contributions, and instead, you should redouble your efforts to make positive contributions every day. It is worth remembering that with each new or transferred boss, you will have to earn their trust each time. HOW DOES THIS HELP – Although it might seem counterintuitive; providing value daily makes you more valuable; the more your boss can trust and depend on you, the more likely they will listen and appreciate your thoughts and opinions.
Do your best work on every task you are given. Develop a reputation as a person who delivers quality work regardless of the type or size of the task assigned to you. Be the first to volunteer when a volunteer is needed, be the first to try a new process or system; stand out by doing whatever is asked, whenever it is asked. HOW DOES THIS HELP – Your reputation can supersede your boss’s influence over other departments within your organization and positively affect your status throughout the organization. Additionally, even if it does not influence your boss, you may gain useful references for other opportunities.
Allow your boss to grow into their role. Patience, understanding, and the willingness to learn about your boss and to be interested in them can mitigate their approach towards you. In my experience, “bosses” may not appreciate the negative effects of their behavior because they haven’t yet grown into their role. One of the ways to “manage your boss” is to help them grow into their role. HOW DOES THIS HELP – For bosses who genuinely want to do a good job and treat their people well, your allowances will help and perhaps influence your coworkers to do the same.
Avoid closed-mindedness and being defensive. Having an open mind and a willingness to try new ideas will help your boss when they inevitably introduce new systems and processes. A good boss will attempt to have willing cooperation; however, too often their plans can be derailed by some of their people who refuse to even consider new ways of doing things. Try to set a good example and encourage your co-workers to follow your lead. HOW DOES THIS HELP – The more people are willing to at least consider new ideas, the less frustrated your boss will be, frustrated bosses are like any frustrated people, they are less likely to be understanding and accommodating.
Avoid “win/lose” situations. I have known people who have to be right all of the time, even at the expense of embarrassing people around them, including their boss. Learning to “Know when to go to war and when not to,” will improve your perception among your coworkers and bosses as well as avoid embarrassment for everyone. HOW DOES THIS HELP – Allowing people to save “face” leads to appreciation and avoids “piling on” situations that are common when new systems and processes are being introduced.
Avoid drama and taking sides. Try to maintain your composure, stay poised, and channel your frustration in positive directions. Complaining to other co-workers about your boss only adds to negative perceptions and be careful about being perceived as “fighting” your boss. HOW DOES THIS HELP – We make better decisions when we are above the drama and being perceived as one of those fighting your boss will not help you to influence or manage them. Don’t allow yourself to lose your cool, be the calm in the storm, the person who can get things done. You want to be known as the person who gets things done, despite all of the drama.
Learn about your boss, part 1. Become genuinely interested in learning about your boss, as a person, and as someone with pressures and responsibilities. What have been their successes, what are they proud of, what are their strengths, what can you learn from them, and what are their goals both inside and outside of work. HOW DOES THIS HELP – Appreciating their perspective may give you insight into how to grow into being able to influence them.
Learn about your boss, part 2. Discover their weaknesses and try to provide complementary and compensatory skills or abilities; for example, if they are unorganized provide organization, if they conduct poor meetings, provide tips and suggestions to help them better engage their people. HOW DOES THIS HELP – Most bosses will appreciate the help, particularly if accomplished with tact and diplomacy.
Take initiative but allow for guidance. Being a micromanager is a common frustration people have about their boss. Normally taking initiative and thinking for yourself are positive traits of good people; however, remember not everyone is the same. Take cues from your conversations with your boss learn about their appetite for broad lanes and ask for regular feedback to avoid “going so far onto a limb, you can’t see the tree anymore.” HOW DOES THIS HELP – If you wish to “manage your boss” and the stress they cause in your life, it is worthwhile to remember every day is a test and it is your responsibility to learn the parameters of your current situation by encouraging and asking for their guidance and their participation.
Foster regular and effective communication. Earning trust from bosses with “micromanagement” tendencies can be facilitated by providing brief, but concise regular updates and summaries. Take care not to overly simplify, undermine, or manipulate them. HOW DOES THIS HELP – Often work stress, frustration, and anxiety can cause misconceptions and the drawing of “wrong” conclusions; effective communication can be the best antidote for these feelings.
Keep your seat at the table. Learn how to share opinions, facts, and information your boss may not want to hear. Good bosses want to know what your thoughts are, you can become an effective “sounding board” and source of valuable insight; however, that trust does not happen quickly. Choose your spots well, don’t be a headache, and know when you are approaching their tolerances on any given day, topic, or situation; pick your spots for agreeing and disagreeing. HOW DOES THIS HELP – Being able to influence and manage your boss is contingent on you being part of the decision process. By the way, always be honest but be aware of your boss’s sensitivities.
Question and prioritize. One of the most common stressors for middle management and regular workers are bosses and supervisors who frequently assign new tasks and responsibilities without clarifying the new tasks placed in the outstanding priorities. To manage this situation requires you to be very well organized, I suggest using a Kanban chart; asking for a concise description of the new task; and most importantly where it fits with the current priorities. HOW DOES THIS HELP – A boss who understands your Kanban chart can easily visualize your priorities and should be receptive to appreciating that “something has to wait.”
Know when your situation is untenable. In my experience, all of these suggestions will help any person support and “manage” their boss; they will not work all of the time and with every boss. I have worked with bosses that were completely unmanageable and unfair. I attempted to shield as many workers as possible, thought I would eventually persevere and was completely wrong. I should have recognized the signs and made my plans to leave or transfer. HOW DOES THIS HELP – Sometimes you cannot win, recognize the signs before it affects your health, your family, and your reputation.
As you have read this, it is my hope you have found some tools you can use to “manage your boss” to reduce your frustration, anxiety, and stress. Attempting to manage your boss can be fraught with danger, however, it can be something “you” can do to try to manage your situation. I have worked for good, bad, and in-between bosses, some have been great people, and others, well not so much. I have used these methods and they have worked for me; I hope they might work for you.
Good luck,
Paul.