There is a book I have and continue to recommend to everyone I believe who shows promise of potential, to people needing a change in direction, to job seekers, to friends, to family, and to complete strangers.
Is Dale Carnegie out of date in 2025? Maybe the story examples might seem “historic” at worst; however, the underlying themes, principles, and messaging are as valid today as they were when it was first written. I am not the only person who believes this, as the book continues to thrive today, having been in continuous printing for all of that time. Today, in addition to print versions, there are courses, podcasts, audiobooks, and YouTube videos.
Not only can Dale Carnegie help change your life, but it can also be invaluable to anyone seeking a new job or career.
Live in day-tight compartments – Searching for a job, dealing with the uncertainty being unemployed creates, and preparing for interviews that can change the course of your life creates anxiety; using “day-tight compartments,” allows a job seeker to focus on one or two tasks at a time without allowing themselves to be overwhelmed. When I sense my job seekers are overwhelmed by finding another job, I often ask, “How do you eat an elephant?,” and my response is “One bite at a time.” The same is true when feeling overwhelmed, focus on one day at a time.
Keep a positive attitude – Believe that you can accomplish what you choose to do, cultivate optimism, and don’t allow negative thoughts or people to distract you. If you create a plan, execute it, modify it as necessary, and seek help; you will be successful, and you will accomplish this much faster with a positive outlook.
Don’t hold grudges – Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die; instead, let go of resentment, anger, and jealousy and focus on accomplishing your goals. If you have been fired, treated unfairly, or passed over for a promotion; as hard as it is, forget about it and move on. No amount of hand-wringing or complaining is going to help you move forward.
Smile genuinely – Smiling costs nothing and will make you and everyone around you more relaxed and happier. Potential employers and co-workers will notice.
Develop a sense of humor and perspective – We can be too close to problems and difficulties, and appreciating there are different perspectives to our viewpoint can help us relax, and reframe our efforts.
Find joy in the little things – Developing your ability to notice and appreciate people, simple pleasures, and meaningful moments in life and at work will make you a better person and a better employee.
Practice gratitude – Regularly remind yourself of what you’re thankful for, and thank people for helping you. My challenge to you is to try to say thank-you a minimum of 25 times a day.
Be kind to yourself – Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Job seeking is stressful and allowing yourself to be human is important. Few of us are perfect the first time, remember to strive for progress, not perfection.
Don’t compare yourself to others – Finding a job can be competitive; however, the path to standing out to about making progress for yourself.
Avoid unnecessary regrets – Learn from mistakes and move forward. Do everything to the best of your ability in all things, ask for feedback, listen to it, learn from it, and apply it the next time.
Keep learning and growing – Continuous personal development and learning provide you with skills, experiences, and attitudes that you will have all your life; this is an incredible way to stand out.
Find a purpose – Have a “magic wand” job goal and make a multi-step plan on working towards whatever you have chosen for yourself. Remember to only use SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-specific).
Be prepared to accept failure – You are going to experience failure(s), we all do, it doesn’t matter how or when it happens; what matters is what you learn, how you recover, and how you move forward. Failure is an opportunity for growth.
Stay curious – Ask questions constantly, listen, appreciate, and apply, and always be open to learning from others regardless of age and/or experience. It’s okay to change your mind on anything; that’s why you have a mind.
Take care of your health – No job, no career, or excessive stress is worth ruining your health. Developing perspective helps to learn to handle these barriers and overcome them, maintaining your physical well-being impacts all other aspects of your life.
Choose your friends wisely – Surround yourself with supportive, positive people, and you do this by trying to be supportive and positive to the people around you.
Don’t overburden yourself – Set healthy boundaries and strive for a good work/life balance; there are always going to be challenges; but realize you may never get everything done, so prioritize, and do your best..
Give without expecting anything in return – You work for yourself, your reputation, you’re your sense of who you are. Hopefully, you will be recognized for your efforts, but if you are not, appreciate generosity without strings attached. In fact, expect ingratitude; you are not a martyr; however, part of perspective means appreciating other people may have issues consuming them that will cause them to only focus on themselves meaning, they may not notice you and your efforts; that does not mean you shouldn’t keep trying.
Take a genuine interest in others – Notice, listen, and engage with people around you. Every organization is about people, and your ability to be interested may be one of your best superpowers.
Avoid criticizing or complaining – Employers are interested in the solutions you can provide, not the blame and excuses that you share. Focus on being the solution to an employer’s problems.
Remember people’s names – Connecting with people using this simple but effective way of communication makes a positive impression, especially when combined with being a good listener.
Talk in terms of other people’s interests – When you can see and frame conversations from someone else’s perspective, you have an advantage over people who can only see their point of view.
Make the other person feel important – Your ability to genuinely recognize and appreciate other people’s contributions and value will definitely win friends and influence people. Use sincere compliments and never use flattery when speaking with any person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders – In a supervisory role, empower your people to think and solve problems. Empowerment means supporting them even when they make mistakes and giving them space to grow.
Don’t argue – The best way to win an argument is not to have it, and especially try to avoid win/lose situations by seeking common ground and avoiding unnecessary conflict.
Focus on people’s strengths – Acknowledge someone’s good qualities rather than their flaws and always avoid gossip by speaking well of people to build a supportive culture.
Lead with integrity – Betransparent and honest in your dealings. Earning the trust of your people and supervisors is a key component to your success.
Stay humble – You can be confident without arrogance; humility builds stronger connections.
Be proactive and a problem solver – Constantly take initiative, volunteer, and anticipate needs and build a reputation as someone who can help led your people and organization.
Work with passion – Be a person who builds energy and enthusiasm in the people you work with and in everything you do.
Don’t be afraid to admit mistakes – We all make mistakes every day, when they happen, own them, take responsibility, and learn from them, sharing the lessons with everyone.
Adapt to change – Be open to and embrace new ideas and evolving environments. Resilience and the ability to reinvent yourself is especially important for older job seekers.
Set clear, attainable goals – Accomplishing your goals is much easier when they are clearly defined, measurable, achievable, relevant, and with a time limit (SMART).
Prioritize tasks – I believe traditional multi-tasking is a myth, I prefer to believe that using tools such as KANBAN, constantly prioritizing 3-5 tasks, and replacing them as they are completed is the key to delivering value; early and often.
Analyze your worries – Write them down and break them into manageable pieces. Mitigate the worries you can, and for those worries that are unavoidable, askyourself: “What’s the worst that could happen?” – Often, the worst scenario is not as bad as you fear.
Take action – Worry is often the result of inaction. Being overwhelmed often results in inaction. Taking small steps toward solving a problem can relieve anxiety. Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Do what you can, with what you have, when you can,” and he wasn’t wrong.
Practice relaxation techniques – Dale Carnegie encouraged meditation, breathing exercises, or yoga to reduce stress. Going for a walk also works as does changing your perspective.
Dale Carnegie’s principles will not only help you find the job or career you seek, but it will also help you become a better person; it has for me as it has for uncountable others in all the years since it was published. I am very grateful to my mentor and former employer, Bruce Beattie, for introducing me more than twenty years ago to this book; I have tried to repay his mentorship as often as I can to help my job seekers and friends on their own employment and personal journey. Even if you never read the book, applying these lessons will make a difference for you.
Good luck,
Paul