Like many people, I sometimes find my energy and enthusiasm for working to be less than ideal.
I have been experiencing more of these days lately than I remember. The weight of these days makes the coming day even more difficult to approach than the previous.
I work in a demanding field with constantly changing “goalposts” where success is ill-defined and rare. People I work with speak in generalities of what success is; but when pressed for a concise explanation, unfortunately, they retreat behind sayings like every situation and circumstance is different. Whether in a for-profit business or a charitable organization, I know I am not alone in my feelings.
Although my organization is supportive, I often work in isolation and find the only person who can provide motivation … is me.
I have been searching for solutions, tips to help; not only for myself but for anyone else who feels the same way. These are my “Pump up my tires” tools, when I am worn out by shifting priorities, inadequate resources, and impossible situations; see what you think, use what you can, share what you like, and add your suggestions, I am always looking for more.
Interact with people – I find my toughest days are the days I work remotely or with very little contact with other people. I used to think I was independent and could work alone for as long as necessary. I find that while I can still work without company, I work better being connected, and having someone to share ideas and feedback with. The contact doesn’t have to be extensive, but simple smiles, saying hello, and small gestures like holding the door for someone can be impactful for me.
Be interested in people – listen and hear them – When feeling disconnected and in need of revitalization, listening and hearing what people around you are saying is a great way to feel better. They say there is no “I” in “team” and most of us are better when we are not alone and this is especially true when you are at a low ebb. When you become interested in other people, they respond in kind and often can provide a spark when you need it the most.
Know what is happening – with your family, with your co-workers and organization, your community, and your world – The feeling of being isolated happens when you withdraw from those around you and can happen almost without thought. Purposefully and proactively build connections with those people around you, learn about what is happening or soon to happen, and follow the news (being careful to fact-check whomever you are listening to).
Help with what you can – When feeling discouraged find someone to help. Volunteer in your community, volunteer for a job at work, or offer to help a neighbor; the simple act of helping someone else can have a dramatic effect on your outlook.
Avoid negative people – You know who these people are and when you are tired and discouraged, they are not helpful. Negativism breeds more negativism and makes any situation worse particularly when you are vulnerable.
Be assertive not aggressive or passive – A danger when tired or discouraged is to stop caring or working as hard as you might normally. The attitude of “Why bother” can rapidly become your mindset and this passivity must be resisted. The same is true when your frustration changes to anger or aggressiveness. Focusing on being assertive is the path to returning to where you need to be. Appreciate how you are feeling but know that regardless of those feelings, working through each situation will help restore you to where you want to be.
Get a good night’s sleep – Everything is worse if you are tired. Tossing and turning all night and waking more tired than when you went to sleep is a recipe for a day going sideways. Try to have a regular bedtime, read before bed instead of watching TV or using a phone or computer, and try to avoid eating or drinking anything a few hours before trying to sleep.
Don’t oversleep despite the temptation – With sleep, routine, and consistency are important; so oversleeping, particularly on working days will not be as helpful as it might feel. Put your alarm far enough from your bed that you have to get up to turn it off, you will feel less tired and less stressed.
Eat breakfast – We all need to appreciate the importance of eating properly and especially the impact of having a good breakfast can have on your ability and stamina to work through a difficult day.
Exercise – Even a little every day can help you avoid getting rundown and tired. Go for a walk and design a little workout routine that involves some push-ups and sit-ups, you don’t need to join a gym or have expensive equipment to begin.
Do something for yourself everyday day – Even something for 5 minutes can have a big effect on your feelings of being tired. Many of us are so busy and have so many responsibilities we can lose our sense of “fun” and “that how we feel matters.” Not taking care of yourself only adds more weight to the burden we carry on those difficult days.
Do 15 minutes of self-improvement every day – Similar but not the same as the last point, read a book, blog, trade-publication, listen to a podcast, watch an online video; do something consistently even for a short period every day to become better. This effort will reward you with more skills, a better attitude, and potentially more choices.
Look for solutions, not more problems – We all know people who “can find the gray lining in the silver cloud,” these people can find the negative in any positive situation; don’t be one of them. When you are tired and frustrated the problems seem overwhelming and the solutions very rare; fight these feelings and look for constructive paths to follow.
Take breaks when you feel tired or worn – The temptation when things are difficult is to try to work even longer and harder; what is really necessary is to step back even for a few minutes, refresh yourself, and consider the facts, alternatives, and choices. Doing this and clearing your head will allow you to regroup and feel re-energized.
Avoid win/lose situations – Too often when we are tired or frustrated we forget that no one likes to lose and despite this, we force situations where the resolution means you or someone else walks away angry or disappointed. Working to collaborate, to achieve victories for everyone, it’s harder but worth the effort.
Ask for and accept feedback – This can be hard because to be really effective you have to be prepared to listen, not defend, and accept that you may hear things you don’t want to necessarily find out. Sometimes the problem when you are tired and frustrated is YOU.
Say “thank you” more than you do – Two little words requiring virtually zero effort can make a dramatic difference in someone else’s day. These words may not directly change your day; however, showing genuine appreciation to someone else may have a very positive influence on how they approach you which can impact your day.
Make at least 3 people feel better about themselves today – Like saying “thank you” this action does not directly affect you; in fact, it actually requires you to invest time in noticing the people around you. However, by noticing, being interested, and commenting on the actions of people around you; you are making them feel better, and as a consequence, you will feel better yourself … don’t believe me, just try it.
Always take the high road – This is hard to do on difficult days sometimes but by always trying to be a better person you can feel good about yourself, even on tough days. Your integrity and self-image are important.
Keep your space organized – When you having a bad day, even the simplest things like trying to find something you misplaced will increase your frustration. You can be proactive and reduce your future frustration by being better organized.
Get outside every day and keep your perspectives grounded. We live in an amazing world, but too few of us take the time to notice all of the small miracles that are just waiting for us to notice them, the sound of water rippling, the laughter of small children, flowers, the sky, everything; we work so we can live, not the other way around.
Start where you are, do what you can with what you have, and look for and attempt to achieve as many small victories as possible – This really is the secret to unwinding a bad day, and to pumping yourself back up. You can make a difference; not only to the people and world around you, but most importantly for yourself.
Good luck,
Paul.