Losing your job can be devastating regardless of the circumstances of how it happened.
Perhaps you expected it or it was a complete shock; frankly, it doesn’t matter how or why it happened. What matters is “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?”
Many people face this reality and few of us are ready when it happens. Some who anticipated the news had time to plan, prepare, and move seamlessly to a new role and organization; they are the exception.
The rest of us are shocked, surprised, hurt, disappointed, angry, and afraid. Afraid of the uncertainty and consequences of what just happened. We have responsibilities; we have families, children, or people who depend on us; we have bills to pay; we have plans for tomorrow, next week, and next year; all now in jeopardy. Too many of us identify our sense of self through our jobs; when our job is suddenly ripped from our lives, it is easy to lose our sense of purpose, especially if we have been doing a job for a long time. Stress and anxiety can be paralyzing and overwhelming, even to the strongest among us.
What are you going to do? Having personally experienced the shock, the shame of having to pack up your belongings, how your coworkers avoid eye contact and even speaking to you, being walked to the door, and that long, lonely drive home; I can offer some suggestions and a way forward for you.
First, realize your world is not over. Although losing your job can seem like the worst thing possible, it can be a good thing in the long run despite being difficult to accept at the time; losing a job forces you to re-evaluate yourself, develop resilience, and change, both of which can be positive for you. In addition, frankly, having a positive perspective is the only choice that is going to get you out of that situation.
Talk to someone. If you are like me, you will feel the full range of emotions, and acknowledging those feelings with someone is vital to move forward. Each time I have lost a job has felt to me like a personal injury because I put so much of myself into the work I do and inevitably I question my abilities, confidence, and self-image; unchecked, those feelings easily will cause me to spiral downwards.
I suggest one of your first tasks is to prioritize income replacement. Too many of us live precariously and missing a rent or mortgage payment is not an option. Apply for employment insurance (EI) the day you lose your job; even if terminated with “cause,” still apply. It is surprising how many people do not realize it is possible to appeal a termination decision and qualify for benefits.
Doing this paperwork is important and although it can be frustrating because of delays, this support will help bridge the time between your last and next pay cheque.
Although you feel incredibly alone, know there is help available. You are not the first person to experience a termination and if you “work the problem,” you will survive. Don’t be embarrassed, people will understand and will want to help. Start with family or friends, if that is not an option, try a mental health hotline and/or speak to someone at your local employment center. Do not be disappointed that few coworkers will call or sympathize with you, it is an unfortunate reality but just one more obstacle on your path.
Your attitude is going to be important, the pathway to your future isn’t easy. You need to make a plan and start working through the obstacles. You will experience discouragement, possible depression, self-doubt, rejection, anger, and/or self-criticism about what got you here; it is natural and it is part of your recovery process. Stay positive as much as you can and keep faith in yourself, like I said you are not alone and you will find another job again.
Take frequent deep breaths. If you are like me, you will have periods of anxiety, you will feel like panicking; both are normal. Acknowledge your emotions and feelings are all very real and understandable. Losing your job is a setback in your career; the loss forces you from your comfort zone suddenly; however, the setback and loss are recoverable.
Take stock – part 1. Review your finances and especially your expenses, if you don’t already have a budget, now is the time to start. Look for expenses you can defer for the short term? Determine what are your priorities: rent or mortgage; loans; food, etc. Explain to your family that everyone might have to forgo certain purchases or activities until you are working again and don’t be embarrassed to check 211 for assistance programs that can provide short-term assistance.
Consider short-term income sources. Learn about the gig economy to earn supplementary income while looking for a more permanent job. Another possibility might be to rent a room in your home through a home-sharing platform.
Take stock – part 2. Work with an employment counselor and objectively look at the skills, attitudes, and experience to define and plan what kind of job or career you want to pursue and a path to follow to achieve success. Include as part of the process, how much money you require to provide for your lifestyle and appreciate you may need to revise your expectations based on the current marketplace. Ask about available government training programs to upgrade your skills.
Trust you will find another job. This is important, particularly for older workers, regardless of your particular circumstances. You will need to work hard to find opportunities, but if you use the resources available and follow their processes you will achieve your goals.
Your previous employer is not going to change your mind. If you find yourself playing the “what if” game, constantly replaying in your mind what you might have done differently, or hoping your former employer will call you back after they realize they made a mistake; STOP IT, it is not going to happen, it is a trap I have succumbed to and it will not help you and will only distract you from what needs to be done. Learning the lessons from your past is the key to your present and your future.
Ageism is a reality; however, you must treat it as just one more problem to solve. Losing a job is traumatic at any age, the older we get the harder it might seem. Working with a government or agency employment service is important regardless of your age. Use 211 to find government services to help you.
Share your story. Talking about what happened to you, what you are doing, and what you want to do will help, especially with the “what ifs.” Regardless of the reason why you are in this position, you will ask yourself “What if I had done that, what if I had done this,” it’s natural but not necessarily helpful. Talking to people, especially people who have been through this type of situation, will help you move forward and stop looking backward.
“Take the high road.” When people ask, “What happened to you?” remember blasting your former employer is not going to help you. Tell people you are looking for a new challenge and new opportunities; ask them to tell anyone they know who might be looking for someone you are available. People like to help, but to help, they need to know you appreciate their help, don’t be embarrassed; remember if the situation were reversed, you would help them.
Learn about your rights. Anyone can be terminated; however, even the worst employers have rules and regulations to follow, if you think you might be entitled to severance or “pay in lieu” of notice, speak to your local labor board or obtain advice from an employment center. Find out what legal costs you may have to pay; most employment services will have information to help you decide to pursue compensation.
Maybe it is time for a change. Unexpectedly losing your job might be a good time to pursue a different path. Investigate through 211 and your employment services about government retraining and skills development programs.
Get help so you can compete better. The marketplace for finding a job is extremely competitive and many of us only look for work a few times in our career. Your local employment counselors can help with workshops (most are free) on resume writing, cover letters, interviews, job-hunting skills, and role-playing interviews. This time is very well spent and also helps you to network.
Looking for work is work. Looking for a new job can be difficult, even the most qualified people can get frustrated; to succeed be determined and persistent. Try to spend as much time searching for and following up on prospective opportunities as possible.
Volunteer. While looking for work volunteering is a good way to network and be productive. I have found helping other people can be great therapy and an excellent way to stay connected to opportunities. Local charities, minor sports, or even volunteering to join a charitable board of directors are all ways to make a positive difference and help yourself.
Ask for a letter of reference, a LinkedIn recommendation, and/or someone willing to be a reference. Although the person who terminated you may not be reference material, perhaps someone else you the organization may be willing to help you. It never hurts to ask and it will help mitigate the perception of your termination to a prospective employer.
Be grateful to anyone who helps you. The feeling of aloneness and isolation is perhaps the worst feeling you will experience; when someone reaches out and is concerned about you and how you are doing may be just enough to keep you from giving up.
Most importantly … Be determined and persistent, each day try to stay as positive as possible, and know that you will find another job.
Few of these concepts are easy, finding a job and a career isn’t easy. The last time it happened to me, my search took two months, another time six months, and very early in my career, thirteen months; I survived and so can you.
One last point, about your family or anyone else you care about. If you find yourself in a negative mindset, your family will notice, share, and experience your angst. Children are often confused when they find their activities curbed, they notice increased stress and arguments that often accompany the anxiety of being out of work; consciously be aware and take action to minimize the effects on them and particularly on your partner.
It is a stressful time, for everyone, I know you are worried and afraid for the future. Your family will see you are determined, you have a plan, and if you don’t allow your personality to change; then they will handle the situation better as well.
Good luck.
Paul.
ps. When you do return to the workplace; take steps to ensure you never have to experience this again; however, always be prepared in case it does; have a reserve fund, a current resume, and keep the knowledge that you can overcome any obstacles if it does.