Frustrated at work? What can you change?

Quit or find another job.  That’s the simplest and most common advice given to most people.

But, life is complicated, and quitting and finding another job isn’t always that simple or that easy.   

Maybe there is another alternative.  Instead of changing jobs, think: is there something that you can change about yourself?

One of the most influential mentors I ever had once told me that when faced with a problem, situation, or frustration with other people, I should consider that the problem might not be the other person. Maybe it was me and/or my attitude.

Appreciating the fact that all jobs and careers are different, some things transcend all of them.  Most people want to be better at what they do.  Some want more money, some want more responsibility, some want to advance faster, and some want more job satisfaction.  No one enjoys being frustrated. 

There are many ways to accomplish those goals.  Quitting and finding something else is certainly an option.  But, consider looking in the mirror, look at your skills, attitudes, and behaviors. What could you change today, right now, that might make a difference?

What follows are some ideas that do not require any special training and won’t cost you anything (except maybe a little time and some personal attitude adjustments.)

Smile – Maybe the simplest tip of all. To succeed in virtually any job or career, you need to like people.  You don’t have to like everyone, but there is an element of theatricality that can help to deal effectively with those few who are a challenge. 

Be on time – Another very simple thing to do.  Arrive ten to fifteen minutes early to work, and use the time to prepare and get organized.  Even this small amount of time can dramatically reduce anxiety, stress, and frustration.      

Say “thank you” – Few of us use these two words often enough.  As an exercise, count the number of times each day that you sincerely say “Thank you.”  Try to use them at least twenty-five times every day.  You will be amazed at the results.

Make at least three people feel better about themselves.  You must be sincere for this very powerful exercise to work, but it is a great way to learn to notice people around you and to make a difference for them and for yourself.   You will find it is almost impossible to make someone else feel better without making yourself feel better in the process.

Avoid drama.  Every organization has an element of drama and gossip.  Some people think it is “sport” to play head games or to negatively comment on people and/or your organization.  Be careful, they are looking for allies to undermine your environment and can create much of the frustration that people feel. 

Help people.  Whether customers, clients, or co-workers all organizations survive and thrive on how well they treat people.  Treat everyone with dignity and respect and be conscious that no one feels like they are “at the wrong door.” Promptly acknowledge people that are waiting and remember they want help solving their problem(s) and are not likely interested in listening to  your problems. 

Take notes.  Nobody is perfect.  Hearing and memory are selective at best.  A salesperson writing down a phone number, a server recording a customer’s dinner request, or an upset person explaining their frustrations to an employee; in each case taking notes serves as a reminder and avoids mistakes and having to explain things twice or more.  Most people are busy and few of us intend on forgetting, but it happens, usually with negative consequences.

Ask for clarification – Situations are going to arise that will upset, confuse, and seem dumb to you.  When these occur, take the time to ask a person in a position to explain what and why this is happening.  Too often, frustration occurs because many people do not ask for clarification or simply make wrong assumptions. 

Set the example for other people – If you are frustrated by how other people handle certain situations, set the example.  Too often this doesn’t happen. In a retail setting, if a customer is waiting, another salesperson should acknowledge the customer and finding the person the customer is waiting for; reducing the frustration for everyone and setting a good example for everyone to follow. 

While you are working, work – This might seem counter-intuitive when you are frustrated by your job; however, it can be surprisingly effective.  Focusing on getting tasks finished not only sets a good example but can also often result in recognition; both of which can reduce frustration. 

Learn – Many organizations offer e-learning or workshops, improving your skills can open more opportunities for you.  In addition, having more skills can only help you, particularly if you eventually do look for another job.  As you complete these assignments, try to summarize your “take-a-ways” from each lesson so you can apply the lessons learned. 

Look for innovative ways to improve your performance – Apply the lessons from the previous point, look at your competition, and always ask yourself these three questions:  What did I do right, what did I do wrong, and what would I do differently next time.  Incremental improvement can make the difference between being struggling and being frustrated and succeeding and becoming great.

Talk to your co-workers – Build relationships, and ask them for their strategies for dealing with frustrations.  I have worked with some of the best sales associates in retail and some of the very worst; I have learned from them all, and you can too.

Don’t wait for someone to train you – Unfortunate but necessary, especially for busy organizations.  Try to read a new book, blog, magazine, or listen to a podcast or audio book for at least 30 minutes a day.  To be less frustrated, many times it will be up to you to make it happen.

Utilize your downtime – Do not practice the things you do well, spend the time fixing the things you don’t do well.  Using a racing car analogy, “Anyone can go fast in a straight line; successful racers are the ones who get through the curves fast.”  In addition, utilize role-playing as much as possible when learning new skills. 

Keep a journal – Write down ideas you like or words or phrases.  It makes a huge impact when you can stand on someone else’s shoulders and push the bar higher.

Resist the urge to complain publicly – Venting or complaining to anyone who will listen at work is seldom helpful unless they are in a position to help you.  You are better off to speak to your supervisor so positive action can result.

Speak to your supervisor – Good managers and supervisors will listen to their people and watch for signs of frustration.  If you have a good relationship with your leader(s), find time and talk to them about your frustrations, ideas, and comments.  Effective leaders will try to help frustrated workers because they appreciate that good people are hard to find and expensive to replace. They could try to find another position for you, fix your issues, or at the very least, they may offer you a reference if they can’t afford to keep you or find another place for you. 

Try not to work so much – Some people are frustrated when they try to do too much.  Speak to your supervisor and when frustrated try to focus on your key responsibilities.  “Responsibility creep” can happen to anyone and can easily lead to frustration.

Take your breaks – As mentioned frustration can happen from overworking and under-breaking.  It is easy to skip a coffee break and then start working at your desk over lunch.  Failing to take your breaks increases pressure and anxiety.  Take your breaks, get up move around, and especially make sure you take your holidays.  Having an unbalanced work/life schedule can dramatically affect anyone’s level of frustration. 

Get involved – Start participating in non-work activities or even events sponsored by the organization.  Sometimes frustration can occur from feeling isolated from others or not being involved with co-workers.  For example, participation in a charity event like a food drive, a company-sponsored trivia night, or even something as simple as a lottery pool can foster inclusiveness.

Evaluate yourself – Perhaps none of these suggestions is going to work for you.  Take the time for a hard look at your skills, attitude, experiences, and behaviors.  Consider speaking to an employment counselor at the YMCA or a similar organization.  It is often less stressful and easier financially to look for a new job while still working for your current employer.  An employment counselor will help you prepare for a new position and they might even help you develop suggestions on remaining in your current organization.

All of these suggestions involve looking at yourself in a mirror.  Looking in the mirror and trying to improve yourself is never a bad approach to any problem or issue. 

Ultimately, if you continue to be frustrated with your job; quitting and finding another one is always an option.  However, looking at your frustrations from a different perspective and doing as many things as you can to eliminate yourself as the source of your frustration is always a healthy exercise.

Regardless of where your work all of these suggestions can and will help you.

Good luck,

Paul