The people we don’t see …

How many people do you notice each day?

According to Google, and depending on where you live, you might see up to five hundred people a day. But do you really see them?

Do you see the people closest to you? What was your partner or spouse wearing this morning, and what did they wear yesterday? Did you compliment them and make them feel good about themselves? Did you notice the last time they got their hair cut? If you have children, what was the last thing they were excited about telling or showing you? When was the last time you reached out and connected with old friends or family members; people who were once a part of your daily life but who are now lost or isolated from the rush of the day-to-day?

What colour are the eyes of your closest friends? During the pandemic, it was amazing how many people started really seeing how expressive people’s eyes were. If you begin to notice their eyes, what else can you see or hear? Take the time to learn about their successes, their failures, and what you could do to support and encourage them.

How many times each day do you say thank you? Think about an average working day, and the person at the drive-thru where you buy your coffee. Most of them wear a name tag: how difficult would it be to read it and thank them personally for starting your day out with your morning ritual? What about smiling, noticing, and thanking the person who pumps your gas or works in the kiosk?

Many of us work, but how much do we see and know about our co-workers? When we ask, “How are you?” do we listen? Do we see when something is bothering them, and are we aware or understanding of the stresses and strains they may be experiencing? Are they parents, single or divorced, facing the pressures of childcare, illness, or any of the burdens that parents face daily?

Do we make a point of smiling and saying hello to our co-workers, of being genuinely interested when they tell us things or are we just being polite? Do we compliment those around us for a job well done or when they look nice? Do we remember doing either of those things?

Do we notice the people who provide the services that make our lives possible? The police officers who, for the most part, keep us safe? The fire department personnel who respond to accidents and other emergencies. The doctors and nurses at our family doctor’s office, if we are lucky enough to have one, or those at the hospital? Do we see the burdens they carry and appreciate the hours they work?

When was the last time you waved at and acknowledged the people who take away your garbage and recycling? Every day, working in and around the waste of our society, the smells, the mess, and the creatures attracted to our refuse. In an age where we all need to be more environmentally conscious, recognizing and encouraging the work they do is important. What about your online purchase delivery people, your letter carrier, the pizza guy or gal. A smile, a hello, and a thank you all go a long way.

How many times have you vented your frustration at an issue to a retail worker without really appreciating that they are people, too? Many retail people care about their customers and often are the victims of completely unrealistic expectations from people who seem to think that getting loud and abusive is the way to get what they want. Have you ever stepped in to defend someone who is being unfairly targeted, such as a teenager working at a fast-food restaurant targeted by someone older and upset?

What about the people in our communities who exist on the fringes or periphery? Do you see the people experiencing homelessness where you live? They are there, in numbers that would surprise you and they are not the people most of us would expect. There are families with children, seniors, people with disabilities, people who have lost their homes to rising costs, renovations, loss of a spouse or partner, undiagnosed mental health experiences, trauma and subsequent substance use, human trafficking (slavery – yes, it exists in 2023), and a host of other reasons.

Our social safety net is inadequate and fails to keep up with inflation. Poverty, particularly generational poverty, is difficult, if not impossible to escape and the lack of affordable and safe housing continues to drive more people into the street daily. Increasing numbers of people who are scared and vulnerable are joining the ranks of people in my community and yours, just at a time when government assistance, grants, and public support are being cut or threatened. We don’t see these people, but they are there.

In Canada and the United States, the numbers are staggering for people experiencing hunger and mental health experiences; stigma, lack of coordination, insufficient funding, apathy, and misconceptions hinder those dedicated people and organizations that are fighting the tide of social inequity in our cities, towns, and rural areas. Even basic human functions such as having a public washroom available 24/7 are not available in many parts of our country.

When we see our leaders and politicians speak, either in person or online, we see them, but do we hear what they are saying? In a complex world, why do we form our opinions based on ten-second sound bites, rallying slogans that we don’t question, or vote without learning more about the issues?

We see and hear what we think is important or what fits into our definition of our world. We should see more, we should look for more, we should ask questions, we should listen more, and we should take a more active role with the people who share our community with us. Social equality does not exist in Canada, we have significant issues that need our interest, input, and support. We need to see more, we need to hear more, we need to lose our biases and stigmas, and we need to support more; you and I, and we need to start today.

Good luck,

Paul.