Once in a generation or two, we encounter someone who changes just what is possible. In sports those types of people like include Bobby Orr, Billie Jean King, Wayne Gretzky, Wilma Rudolph, Hank Aaron, and Nolan Ryan. In politics, people like Margaret Thatcher, John F. Kennedy, Jacinda Arden, and Barak Obama; community leaders like Terry Fox, and Rick Hansen; all reset where we thought the limits ended on a national or international level.
Closer to home; in our personal lives, we can come in contact with people who in their own ways change perceptions of what is possible. I have been fortunate to have worked for and with some people like this. They often work out of the limelight and few people outside their community or industry even know they exist; however, in their own way, they change people’s lives.
I write about “Tools everyone can use,” for small and medium-sized organizations, community issues we should all know about, and personal stories that might help people professionally, academically, and/or personally. Today I am writing about a singularly unique person; what makes him remarkable isn’t about what he has done, it’s about his willingness to share what he has learned and how that knowledge ripples outward from him. This post reflects his ripples and it is my hope that anyone who reads this will be able to use his lessons to make a difference for themselves.
Recently I invited him to speak to some of the newer people in our organization. His presentation can be divided into the lessons he shared explicitly and the lessons he taught through his tone, personality, and subtly; these may, in fact, be the most powerful lessons of the two.
When you meet him, the first thing you notice is his sincere interest in learning about you. If we learned nothing else from him, following his example of being genuinely interested in people is a skill and ability that could make a difference in all aspects of our lives. He spoke of “situational awareness,” not in a cold, clinical way, but in a disarming and very real way; the way he notices everyone and makes a point of acknowledging each person on an individual level is an incredibly useful skill. He is quiet, calm, and yet very passionate, and he listens and observes. He never interrupts, asks thoughtful questions, digests the answers, and always makes the person or people he is speaking to feel important, and valued.
He also has superb eye contact with everyone he meets. His eye contact combined with his warm and interested tone helps to rapidly build rapport and connection with people. Not only did he have great connections; but he also managed to have everyone feel engaged at the same time. He is not an overwhelming presence, he is of average height, soft-spoken, and projects an air of quiet confidence without being arrogant. Seldom does he talk about himself specifically, his focus is the person or people he is communicating with. He takes the time to use genuine person-centered compliments gleaned from his ability to notice and listen, not because he wants something, far from that, because he always wants to help and to make a difference.
He takes the time to learn and use the names of the people he meets. In learning names, he has also cultivated the ability to recall those names as well as a positive trait or attribute they possess whether it is days, weeks, or even years later.
He uses his body language to enhance his messages. He has learned to discover ways to communicate on an equal level with individuals and with groups, he never gives the impression he is ever “talking down” to someone either literally or figuratively. He uses his hands to convey tone, his voice modulates to express excitement, and it is impossible to walk away from this person without feeling invigorated by his energy and passion.
He uses his confidence in his abilities to be courageous. He is intense without being pushy or overwhelming, he builds mental pictures for his audience by using appropriate and descriptive language. He has worked hard to be able to enable people to envision themselves being better off through his words. Expressions, like “making a house into a home;” never allowing negative obstacles to be final, using double positives throughout his conversations. For example, a salesperson lamented about the inability to sell display models and he responded by reminding the salesperson that not only was it worth the wait of a few weeks, but in fact it was better to wait than accept any alternative because of the quality of the manufacturer. With the same salesperson, he used personal examples of helping a client “finish” the room with additional pieces, not just because it would help the salesperson, but in fact based on purchasing motivation and knowledge of this client, helping them “finish their room” would lead to greater satisfaction for his client.
He is always prepared. Whether working with clients or training people, this individual always does his homework. He spoke to our people for more than 90 minutes and later told me he prepared several hours ahead of time to ensure our people received his “A” game. Over a career that has spanned more than fifty years, this person may not have always been the most talented contributor, but few were more consistent, innovative, and hard-working than him.
He always is complimentary. When speaking to our people he mentioned how incredibly lucky they were to work in such a great environment and using several “double positives” he also mentioned sincerely how much he was impressed by them and everyone he met that morning. People can be apprehensive when learning, but he knew how to genuinely use compliments to lower their defenses, build their skills, and enhance their confidence.
He knows how to use pauses. Whether presenting to a group of volunteers, co-workers, investors, individuals, or groups, knowing when to pause for effect and reflection is sometimes almost as important as knowing what to say when speaking. Real communication is about listening, pausing, thinking, speaking, listening, pausing, thinking, speaking over and over again. Knowing when to pause is an incredible tool few of us use as well as this person.
He decides what he wants and then creates an action plan. He began his career with no experience, no special skills, just a strong desire and will to succeed. What makes him inspiring is his tenacity, courage, and desire to be better. He not only wants to succeed for himself, but he will help create the conditions to help everyone else be better as well. John F. Kennedy once said, “A rising tide raises all boats,” and he helped set the bar of just what an ordinary person can accomplish.
He believes one person can make a difference. This person is resilient, when I first hired them, he was sixty-five had suffered some financial setbacks, and was essentially starting over through no fault of his own. I never heard him lament his bad luck or misfortune nor did he make any excuses. He was determined and rebuilt his life by showing everyone that one person can make a difference, I know I learned something new from him every single day and I continue to use and share his knowledge daily.
He values being a mentor. While I have purposefully not yet revealed who this person is because I believe what he can share transcends economic sectors and his message and lessons are of equal use in the for-profit and not-for-profit sectors. Many of us forget how transferable skills, attitudes, experiences, and perspectives can be. In his lengthy career he has been a professional soccer player in Europe and North America, a salesperson, a national trainer for a multi-million-dollar corporation, a top executive, a marketer and advertiser, an entrepreneur, a salesperson again, and perhaps the role he values the most, he has been a mentor to countless people. He has also been my friend at times when I had few people that I could call friends. When I asked him how much he would charge to speak to our people, his response was, “I won’t do it for money, but I will do it for you,” which was the ultimate reflection of how much he values being a mentor.
After he left that day, we reviewed what he had discussed and the way he had made our people feel. To a person they were excited to apply both his direct and indirect lessons and they asked more about him as they knew I had worked with him for more than fourteen years.
His work ethic set the bar very high. He seldom missed a day of work, was always early, stayed late when necessary or asked, and if we needed help, he was always ready to assist even with short notice. He joined our organization at age sixty-five, did all of our training, learned a new computer system, and led by example every day. Was he perfect, far from it, but I have never known him to be anything less than patient and professional at all times.
He believes in helping new and existing people at work. For people who try and who care about the work they do, he would do everything possible to assist them to become successful. He is open-minded, innovative, creative, and always takes the high road in everything he does.
Some might think that no one could have all of these positive attributes that I have briefly outlined. Normally they would be correct because most of us have never encountered someone like Tom Gillies. He is everything I have described and more with a humility and sharing spirit that is as rare as he is.
Tom has accomplished some truly remarkable things in his life. He would say his family, including his wife of more than fifty years, his children, and his grandchildren are his legacy; I would add his contribution as a mentor and as someone who willingly shares his knowledge, skills, experience, and perspective is what really makes him a once in a generation inspiration.
We need to recognize people like Tom, not by putting them onto a pedestal, but rather by inviting them into our organizations to share and to build our people through the lessons they can share.
Paul.