I am not perfect but even my worst enemy will say that few people either work or try as hard as I do. Having worked as a leader or a manager for as long as I can remember I have always tried to be good at what I do, some might even say I have succeeded enough to be great at what I do.
However, with knowledge and experience, I have realized my potential has been lessened by my failure to see boundaries I should have respected, by bad habits I should have noticed, and by my failure to appreciate “HOW” success is achieved is as important as “HOW MUCH” success is achieved.
I have been fortunate to have had several great mentors, but I have not always been as attentive as I should or could have. In a small way, I would like to pay forward their patience, faith, and wisdom by sharing what they strove to impart to me, along with some first-hand lessons to make a difference for other people today.
Not allowing people to fail – As a society and as individuals, we do not appreciate how failure can be a good thing. I certainly did not, many times I would work behind the scenes to prop up someone who might have failed otherwise. I would have been more helpful to allow them to fail and then use my efforts and support to encourage them to apply those lessons learned again.
Realizing that failure does not mean that you are a failure – Similarly, when someone fails at a task or in a business, we should appreciate businesses fail through many reasons totally unrelated to the actions of the entrepreneurs. If we could help people avoid internalizing failure, separating failure from the person, more of those people would ultimately achieve the success they seek.
Working for free – As a salaried person and someone passionate and dedicated, I have often worked through breaks, before and after I was scheduled, and at home because I didn’t want to disappoint my organization. Perhaps this might be justified as an exception; however, in the longer term, when this exception becomes the rule, your managers and supervisors can begin to have unrealistic expectations of what you can accomplish; which will eventually cause even more stress and disappointments when you try to work a regular schedule.
Working when nobody knows you are working – I often worked before and after everyone arrived or left. One week in particular, I remember working 77 hours, my health suffered, my home life suffered, and not a single person knew or appreciated what I was doing.
The most valuable employee isn’t always the one who works the most hours – balance, perspective, motivation, and leadership make someone valuable, not overworking, burning out, and having an overdeveloped sense of your own self-importance. Success comes from sustainability and developing depth as well as innovation.
Never taking any credit for success – While modesty and humility are admirable qualities, when you never accept praise for your contribution this can become a major problem should you decide to leave an organization.
Sharing opinions when they are not wanted – Leaders who really want to hear dissenting opinions are rare and too often managers who say they have an “open door” really don’t. A person who recognizes this truth will be more successful than someone who continues to push their ideas and opinions to unreceptive people.
Working 26 of 27 Christmas holidays – Boxing Day wasn’t the only holiday that I worked where I missed relatives, family, and even my own children growing up. I believed this was expected and made it worse because I expected it from the people I lead. There are compromises I could have and should have made.
Working for people who do not like or appreciate the work you do – Toxic environments are more common than people think and permeate even seemingly successful organizations. It costs virtually nothing to appreciate people who are dedicated and work hard, yet for many organizations, it is rare. I once heard a store owner tell a twenty-year-plus tenured person “You are just an employee,” as if somehow their years of dedication, sacrifice, and hard work meant nothing and the hurt and resentment caused eventually led to that person leaving the organization.
Thinking you can win an unwinnable fight – Anyone can be fired; typically, people are fired for misconduct, but sometimes people can be fired because they represent attitudes and behaviors that are not shared by the owners and leaders of an organization. I have seen many hard-working and amazing people fail to appreciate this reality and lose their jobs. As a result, their sense of esteem is destroyed because they thought they could win when everything was stacked against them from the beginning.
You want someone to succeed more than they do – As an optimist and a person who wants to genuinely help other people succeed, I have often fallen into this situation where I was working harder to help someone than they were working to help themselves. You can help a person learn, to stress the importance of being reliable; but they must want to succeed, and they must provide their own motivation.
Not getting involved and hurting people unnecessarily – Evil doesn’t always happen because of evil people, perhaps the worst kind of evil happens when good people know it is happening and allow it to happen without becoming involved. In the pursuit of success or because of budgetary constraints, or simply through unawareness, people can be hurt.
Just because someone is in a senior role doesn’t make them right – Too often we acquiesce to people in authority. Under the guise of being loyal, we forget that our opinions matter and that we should use our critical thinking skills all of the time.
Adjusting to changing or reduced roles within an organization – I call this “The Jason Spezza effect.” Jason Spezza was a dominant player during his career, but when his skills were being overtaken by younger athletes he successfully extended his career by willingly accepting more of a supporting role. His approach seems to be extremely rare as most successful athletes retire rather than accept a lesser role. We could all learn from his example because even making a smaller or different contribution can make a huge difference for any organization or community.
Not taking lunches and breaks – Like many leaders, I have always wanted to be available to help when needed, to be available whenever people had a problem. While occasionally taking a lunch or a break, leaders like this, while likely appreciated, can easily become burnt out, fatigued, and suffer from a lack of “recharging.”
Not missing a day of work in more than 24 years – I know a person who worked more than twenty-six years, in that time, they only missed 3 days of work, and went more than twenty-four years without missing a single day. While on the surface, this display of dedication, motivation, and reliability is a great example. Consider, they worked during illness, perhaps risking worsening of their condition or infecting others, they burdened their partner when their children were ill because they did not share in caring for sick children, and special events were missed. Equally disappointing, their employer never recognized or publicly acknowledged this person’s contribution.
Responding to middle-of-the-night security alarms – I have seen dedicated leaders get these calls and respond in all sorts of weather because they are “the manager.” Few ever get any extra pay for the time to get up, get dressed, drive in, meet the police, lock up, and return home. In my own experience, I made dozens of trips without even so much as a thank you.
Not recognizing the warning signs – I have seen many dedicated, motivated, and reliable people told their services were no longer needed. They are shocked, humiliated, and devastated and may take years to recover; why, because they never saw it coming, despite many warning signs. Some warning signs are noticeable, such as having responsibilities removed and reassigned without consultation, some are more subtle such as no longer being asked for opinions, but there are signs.
Appreciating the difference between tenacity and relentlessness – Being tenacious in the pursuit of a goal or objective can be healthy, being relentless and pursuing a goal to the exclusion of everything else and everyone else is dangerous and a boundary unfortunately I have crossed far too many times, usually at great cost to my friends, family, and my own happiness.
Seeing people as organizational components rather than as real living people. People are complex, people are interesting, people have lives, and people trade their time to earn a living; however, far too many managers and leaders seem to forget their people are more than just the 8–10-hour contributions they make each day.
As you read these words, please understand I am not suggesting that you should not work hard, be dedicated, and make extra contributions. Hard work, dedication, and the willingness to make difficult, but fair and equitable decisions have never been more necessary.
Success is still very important to me; however, more than ever I believe that “HOW” we achieve success is as important as “HOW MUCH” success we achieve. Respecting your own ethical and philosophical boundaries, recognizing you have and can develop bad habits, and making a difference for yourself, your family, your friends, your coworkers, your customers/clients, and your community are all interconnected and worthy of your efforts.
Good luck,
Paul