Success is subjective. What you accomplish cannot be compared to what other people do, even to members of your own family. Success is how you have overcome the barriers and adversity you have encountered in your journey and how you have used the opportunities presented to you, good or bad. On your journeys you will encounter and learn the following truths … we all do eventually. How you react and anticipate these truths is up to you, but they will help if you let them.
Life and employment is not fair. If success was simply about hard work and talent; life would be so much easier. Talent and hard work are important but they are only part of the equation. How you react to adversity, bad luck, good luck, the mentors you choose, and where you begin all factor into your success or failure. Do yourself a favor and only compare your progress to how far you have come, never how far other people have come.
Doors open and close. My advice is to take advantage of the opportunities presented to you while you can to make the best choices possible with the time you have available. As we move forward in our journey, the one immutable truth is that we cannot go backward. Don’t be paralyzed or afraid to make the wrong choices; you will sometimes, like everyone; but you must try to do the best you can at any given point.
You have to think about yourself and why you are doing things. I am not advocating you be selfish and self-centered; I am, however, reminding you that you have one life and it matters. You will be nervous, worried, and afraid at times; but try to be courageous and do your best. It is not selfish to practice self-care.
It is easier if you do well in school; however, do not count on schools for all of your education. Our teachers and education system do their best; however, they have an impossible task because of the numbers and wide-ranging skills, attitudes, and behaviors of our children and the budgetary pressures placed on the school. As a result, learn what you can in school knowing there will be gaps. As parents and students we need to anticipate these gaps, we must fill them using our creativity, imagination, and understanding that we can never stop learning and educating ourselves.
Work part-time if you have to, but get involved in extra-curricular activities. Whether in high school, college, or university, take the time to enjoy the social experiences that are as important as the in-class learning you will do. As students, summer jobs are excellent; however, unless it is vital during the school terms, try not to have part-time jobs while you are balancing academic work and extra-curricular activities.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and learn how to mitigate them. There is a tendency to avoid uncertainty and risk; however, instead of avoidance, we should embrace pushing the boundaries of our comfort zones to grow ourselves. At the same time, for good or bad decisions there are consequences; learn how to maximize the positive ones and mitigate the poor ones, but mistakes are part of learning and living.
Volunteer. Life is not always about you and volunteering is a good way to learn about other people’s perspectives and empathy, things that can help you develop your sense of community and your impact on it.
Put your hand up. Too often when a supervisor, teacher, or someone who needs help asks for help, nobody volunteers. We have been socially conditioned because of the fear of making a mistake or looking foolish to not stand out. We need to unlearn this response.
Participate in co-op work terms. Some things cannot be taught from books learning how jobs work, and learning to connect and work with people of other ages and backgrounds are just a few of the important life lessons you will gain from doing a cooperative work-term.
Cultivate mentors for their experiences, and perspectives, and as references. The transfer of knowledge and lessons learned can be some of the best ways for you to succeed, being genuinely interested, asking questions, and allowing them to help you will benefit them as much as you.
You have two ears and eyes, one mouth on purpose. Listen, watch, learn, and ask questions but do the first three twice as much as you do the latter.
You have to survive first and you will learn more if you start at the bottom and do a variety of tasks. The simple truth is that the struggles you encounter will teach you much more than the skills and experiences that come easily to you. Adversity reveals character and helps you to learn the most important form of respect there is … self-respect.
Not all co-workers, supervisors, and managers will be good people and learn to recognize the difference. Learn from the good and bad, develop critical-thinking skills, and challenge conventional wisdom; be innovative, and bold, but learn and use discretion to pick the right time to share your thoughts.
Develop short/medium/long-term plans. Success and achieving your plans will take time and your goals may change. Plan and create actions for right now and for the coming months, keep goals for the next 1-2 years aligned with your short-term actions; and don’t lose sight of where you would like to eventually be in 2-5 years.
Practice interviewing and get help when you are looking for work. Working and earning money will help you achieve your goals; this is easier if you enlist help from government-sponsored employment agencies; they are free and can help.
Use 211. We have built complex and confusing spiderwebs of governmental and community support, 211 is available 24/7 and can be accessed online or by telephone. It is also free.
You can only spend your money one time. Spend your money on what is important to you, but also know people learn how to handle money and help is available and free (211). Learn about compounding interest because borrowing money is expensive.
Shit happens. Despite our best plans and preparations, things happen. Try to prepare by having a little reserve if you can. You will have good days and bad days; you are going to feel “stuck” sometimes. You may not always be able to achieve your desired work/life balance all of the time and sometimes for long periods because of debts and responsibilities. Know that you are not alone, it happens to most of us sometimes; get help, talk to someone, and know you will get through it.
You will use your algebra. Not only will you use all of the skills you learned in school, but if you work moving anything you will use physics. If you interact with people, you will use your language courses. If you travel you will use geography. If you wish to learn about people, your history courses will always help you understand where people come from and why they may act the way they do. Most importantly, you will use the positive lessons and you will overcome those negative ones; but the people skills you learned and continue to develop will help you more than you can ever appreciate while you are in school.
One final piece of shared knowledge; be motivated, reliable, and dependable in everything you do. Know that you can do this. Whatever you choose for yourself is possible, but it won’t be easy; but it will be worth it.
Good luck,
Paul