Rigidity usually happens slowly, and without most people noticing.
If we do notice it, we tend to see it in other people or other organizations. Rarely in ourselves.
But the truth is uncomfortable: Any of us can become rigid in our thinking and actions if we are not constantly vigilant.
When that happens, it doesn’t just limit growth or success, it can quietly erode relationships, culture, and even our long-term survival and/or the organizations we are part of.
What We Tell Ourselves (And What’s Actually True)
At a surface level, the idea is simple: “Rigidity is bad, and we should be more flexible.” That’s true, but it’s not memorable, and it’s not complete. There’s a deeper truth underneath it: Rigidity isn’t discipline, it’s fear disguised as control.
You can see it in small, everyday moments. A manager shuts down an idea in a meeting, not because it’s wrong, but because it’s unfamiliar. A team insists on following a process, even when it’s clearly not serving the outcome. In both cases, it looks like discipline. But it’s really their discomfort about new ideas being protected.
Where Rigidity Comes From
Rigidity doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It builds from very human places: when we are busy, when we are tired or frustrated, when we are feeling threatened, when we are wanting control over at least part of our lives.
I know this because I’ve seen it in myself. It’s always there, just below the surface of all facets of our daily lives. The danger is not that rigidity exists. The danger is when we stop recognizing it in us.
First Step: Awareness
Becoming aware of your own rigidity is the first step. Once you acknowledge it, you can begin to challenge it by becoming more flexible and adaptable. One of my earliest mentors suggested that when I was frustrated with other people, before I did anything, I should stop and look in the mirror. He was and continues to be right, particularly when rigidity begins to affect my thinking and actions.
Discipline vs. Rigidity (A Critical Distinction)
It is important to recognize that discipline does not necessarily imply rigidity. People can be disciplined without being rigid. But being rigid does not mean a person or organization is disciplined.
Discipline creates consistency, focus, and progress. Rigidity resists change, rejects alternatives, and limits possibility.
The Danger of Being Right
We all have blind spots. I know I have one.
Interestingly, one of the most progressive people I know is also incredibly rigid. They would deny this, but it is obvious to everyone around them. This person is at the forefront of many social projects and does an amazingly effective job … if things are done their way.
This form of rigidity is quite common. People get used to being right. They are focused and determined and because they have been right so often in the past, they believe they are right all the time, and this simply isn’t and can’t be true. We all make mistakes, and we are all sometimes wrong.
Another danger is that it becomes easy to forget that you do not have a monopoly on clever ideas. When this happens, over time the organization only progresses as far as that person can push it. Creative thinking is stifled and discouraged. As a result, soon staff stop offering suggestions.
The worst danger to organizations is not failure. It is self-imposed limitation.
When Winning Becomes Losing
Some rigidity stems from the perception that to succeed, someone must win, even if someone else loses. I have seen this in both the charitable sector and the business world.
An example I experienced involved a community organization at odds with a local food bank. The community organization was trying to help those experiencing food insecurity when they needed it. Unfortunately, the food bank volunteers had become so entrenched in their hours and processes that they were turning people who needed their help away and even threatening community donors. In trying to “win,” they ensured that everyone lost.
People and organizations that suffer from rigidity often forget their larger purpose in the pursuit of what they believe is the only way to do something.
The Myth of One Right Way
The rigidity of thinking often lies in believing that there is only one way to do things. It is easy to forget that it is the goal that matters, not necessarily the path.
A few summers ago, an intern I worked with was tasked with learning about a social problem in our region. The past approach had been to bury the intern in policy documents and have them produce a paper that would, as soon as it was finished, collect dust on a shelf with all of the other papers other interns had done.
Instead, we took a different approach.
The intern spent six weeks visiting more than twenty organizations. They spent whole days working with volunteers and staff. They completed basic front-line tasks. They shadowed staff and clients. They engaged with real situations and listened to everyone explaining their various perspectives and ideas. Some “conventional” thinkers criticized this approach. Interestingly, the program manager for the intern supported it fully, as for the first time, the intern gained real-world understanding and built relationships with people on the front lines.
The lesson is simple: Just because something is done differently does not mean it is wrong.
How Rigidity Shows Up in Everyday Life
Rigidity exists in even the smallest parts of our lives. At home it manifests itself in how we do laundry; how we unpack, sort and put away the groceries; and how we do a myriad of everyday tasks. Don’t believe it?
If you live with someone, try putting groceries away differently, and watch what happens. We don’t just prefer our way. We defend it.
The Cost of Staying in Your Lane
Have you ever heard someone say, “I don’t get paid enough to do that”? This is another form of rigidity. This attitude creates missed opportunities, often without people realizing it.
Flexibility and a willingness to expand themselves beyond defined roles have helped many people grow their careers forever.
Without that willingness, doors close quietly. Conformity is Rigidity’s Companion, and conformity often travels with rigidity.
In my experience presenting in schools, I have observed how early this begins.
Students from the earliest grades quickly learn what is acceptable: they learn how to act, how to dress, and how to behave; all of which are initially very positive; however, soon rigidity and peer pressure begin to reinforce rigidity. Ask any teacher about the difference between students raising their hands in Grade 3 versus Grade 12. The difference is striking.
This conformity creates lost opportunities, and the resulting rigidity forms habits that persist into adulthood.
“We’ve Always Done It This Way”
This phrase is one of the clearest signals of rigidity. I experienced a simple but telling example recently. I arrived at my bank on a rainy day. Six people were standing outside getting wet. Inside, employees were ready to begin, but the doors remained locked until exactly 9:30. Their rigid adherence to policy didn’t cost them customers. But it made me and the other five people all question just how important customers really were to this bank.
Small actions send strong messages.
How We Willingly Train Ourselves Into Rigidity
Our approach to mistakes plays a major role in reinforcing rigidity. We become conditioned to consequences. We anticipate reactions. We begin to avoid risk, even in small situations.
I’ve seen this in my own habits.
I usually publish my blog every Sunday night. I write because I enjoy sharing my experiences. At times, though, I’ve put unnecessary pressure on myself to meet that deadline. Putting stress on myself to rigidly adhere to something I do to relax. Dumb, right; most rigidity is. So this post is being written on a Friday, on purpose.
Sometimes, breaking your own pattern is the first step toward change.
When Systems Stop Serving People
As someone who often writes organizational policies, I have seen how many rules exist because of exceptions. Something bad has happened and someone like me writes a policy to ensure whatever bad happened doesn’t happen again. The problem is that policy written for a specific problem situation often will have unintended consequences because it doesn’t serve most situations.
Consider this: A retail store’s Boxing Day sale has six door crasher specials and seventy people lined up. The store’s event attracted lots of customers; however, more than sixty potential customers left disappointed and angry because of the store’s actions.
Or, using the example from my time as a food security coordinator, a food organization creates a rigid intake process to prevent abuse. But in doing so, it disqualifies people who genuinely need help.
These are common examples of rigid thinking that prioritize systems over people.
The Leadership Responsibility
Everything comes back to people, customers and clients, employees, families and friends, and our communities.
Organizations that succeed understand this and adapt accordingly. To survive and grow, many organizations will need to challenge their own rigidity and rethink their work structures, their compensation framework, their inherent flexibility, and the work-life balances for all of their people.
Rigid organizations resist these changes. Disciplined organizations adapt to them.
In one large organization I led, we created a “Vent” meeting which we did a few times a year. The rules were simple, in this meeting, every person could tell my management team anything they thought we were doing that was dumb or harmful to the organization, or things that were bothering them. They couldn’t attack someone but they could complain without fear of retribution about anything we did. My management team had to listen, they couldn’t defend, but the goal was to listen and really hear what our people thought.
It took a while for everyone to see we were serious, but eventually it worked and this unconventional approach soon was making us stronger and more inclusive than anything else we have ever tried to accomplish.
The Real Call to Action – So what do we do about rigidity?
We start with awareness, of ourselves first. Then we build flexibility, curiosity, a cultural and ingrained willingness to listen, as well as a genuine openness to other perspectives.
Because in a world of accelerating change, the greatest risk is not failure. It is refusing to change at all.
Final Thoughts: Rigidity feels like control. But more often than not, it is fear, unexamined and unchallenged.
The longer we hold onto it, the more it quietly narrows what we see, what we hear, and what we are willing to change. Over time, it doesn’t announce itself as failure. It shows up as missed ideas, quiet disengagement, and people slowly learning not to bother trying.
By the time we notice it, it rarely looks like rigidity anymore. It looks like “just the way things are.”
The question isn’t whether rigidity exists. It’s whether we’re willing to recognize it early enough to stop it from becoming the system we mistake for normal.
Once that happens, we’re no longer choosing how things are done. We’re just inheriting them.
Paul