– Common things we should do but don’t always.

Have you ever been frustrated by your neighbours? Maybe upset by what someone has done or not done in your community?

Often, what is so irritating or what causes your frustration,  are usually small things;  just simple considerations or common-sense things that just don’t seem to be very common anymore. Before continuing, I find a little self-reflection is in order. A mentor once suggested that, before complaining about my frustrations, maybe I should ask if I’m a good neighbour. With her advice in mind, I put together a few dozen small but simple considerations that answer the question:  Are you a good neighbour?

All of what follows are small but important considerations that I believe we can make for our family, friends, co-workers, and for complete strangers. These points reflect what a good neighbour should do. See what you think.

A good neighbour …

… has outgrown the need to have the loudest vehicle in town. Anyone who tries to sleep in with their windows open will appreciate just how frustrating this is. Also, good neighbours don’t cut their grass before 9 am on the weekend.

… doesn’t tailgate. Following right up my bumper is not going to make me go any faster. Related to this, good neighbours never “break-check” to stop someone from tailgating either, just watch those YouTube videos if you don’t believe me.

… won’t pull out into traffic without having enough time. It is so frustrating to have someone pull out in front of you and then drive slower than the speed limit, especially when there is no other traffic after the cars they pull out in front of.

… doesn’t slow down when they approach a green light.

… who is a farmer and who drives oversize farm vehicles …  Will notice the number of cars that are stacked up behind them and occasionally pull over and let them pass.

…  who drives a school bus or snowplough (on nice winter days) … See farm vehicles.

… always gives pedestrians the right-of-way at crosswalks.

… who rides their bicycle, unless they are a kid, stays off the sidewalk. I appreciate that cyclists have every right to use the road, but the sidewalks are for pedestrians and children.

… gives cyclists lots of space on the road. To someone on a bike, cars and trucks seem very close and are moving very fast.

… knows the fast lane is for people travelling faster on highways. If you are moving slower than everyone else, even if you are doing the speed limit, move to another lane.

… signals!!!  Cars, bikes, and trucks.

… fully clears the snow off their WHOLE vehicle. Also, scrape more thana “hand-sized” space for seeing out your windshield.

… doesn’t shovel their snow onto the roadway. I understand why you do it, but resist the anger to get the plow back.

… doesn’t drive like an idiot. They only pass when they can see ahead and there is sufficient time to safely pass. They appreciate that driving can be 99% boredom and 1% excitement, but they know the 1% can kill you.

… parks so you can get out of your car.

A good neighbour …

… stand quietly during the national anthem. Neverboo the other team, no matter what you think of their leaders.

… doesn’t stand up, constantly blocking the view of other people.

… never heckles kids, including any young referees at amateur or youth games. These events are for the kids, not for you.

… never throws items on the field or ice.

… keeps right on multi-use paths. They appreciate that cyclists and runners may be passing on the left.

… always says “excuse me” when passing someone closely.

A good neighbour …

… uses people’s names. They are genuinely happy to see people, and they listen to what people want to share with them.

… doesn’t skip the “How are you?” in emails or conversations. It’s part of their workplace politeness.

… acknowledges people even if they are talking to someone else.

… is early, works while they are at work, and respects breaks and lunch hours.

A good neighbour …

… at the grocery store, will put the divider down after their groceries.

… at the grocery store, they know their aisle is not the slowest. They will just take a moment and cool their jets instead of getting angry because someone is slow.

… at the grocery store, they don’t block the aisle with their card. They are polite, especially in tight urban stores.

… at the grocery store, they will return their cart to the corral. They never just leave it as a hazard in the lot.

… will say “hello” or nod when entering a business. They will hold doors open for other people.

… will always go to the back of the line and will never cut in, even by accident.

… will respect store hours. They knowshowing up 5 minutes before closing is okay, but lingering after isn’t. They understand retail workers have lives and want to leave on time.

… will be patient during slow service. They understand that complaining loudly is not acceptable.

…  will hold elevators for people, and if they are full, they will wait for the next one if it’s full.

A good neighbour …

… on Public Transit will let passengers off before getting on. They don’t take up extra seats with bags. They let seniors, pregnant women, people with disabilities, and people with families sit down before themselves.

… tips 15–20%. They appreciate even a small tip if the service is good.

… when camping or at parks, they pack out their garbage. They are quiet at night. They don’t wash dishes at the water tap. They don’t collect firewood from the forests, and their pets are on leashes all the time.

… respects minimizing noise in Public. They keep theircalls and music quiet, and they respect other people in their community.

… doesn’t put their household garbage in public garbage cans. They also do not overfill them.

A good neighbour …

… always pick up after their dog. And takes the bag home with them to dispose of.

… always has their dog on a leash. They understand that the phrase,”He’s friendly!” doesn’t lessen anxiety for people who have been traumatized by dogs in the past.

… always asks before petting someone else’s dog. They teach their kids to do the same to protect the petter as much as it protects the pet.

… doesn’t leave their dog tied outside a store unattended. They know it’s unsafe for the dog and can cause fear in passersby.

… doesn’t bring their dog everywhere. They know, unless it’s a service animal, pets aren’t welcome in most stores or patios.

… knows outdoor cats are controversial. They appreciate how catscan endanger birds and be a nuisance. They know children’s sandboxes and flower beds look like a litter box to cats, and they keep their cats on their property.

… spays/neuters their cats. They know shelters are overcrowded and that it is irresponsible not to prevent unwanted kittens.

A good neighbour …

… who has infants, takes their dirty diapers with them. They don’t leave them in public garbage bins or in the garbage of people you are visiting.

… who has infants, doesn’t change diapers on restaurant tables. They use proper change tables or in their car.

… who has small children will clean up spit-up or snack spills in stores, restaurants, and homes they’re visiting.

… teaches their children not to touch other people’s things or pets without asking. In stores, if something gets broken, they understand they will have to pay for it.

… teaches their children respect for service staff. Their kids will say “please” and “thank you” at counters, restaurants, etc.

… will respect other families’ parenting choices. They avoid offering unsolicited advice or judgment in public spaces, and especially when interacting with their own family members.

… won’t allow their kids to feed or approach strange animals.

… will bring snacks, toys, or distractions for long waits or restaurants. They understand kids can easily become bored and disruptive.

A good neighbour …

… who is a senior, will not assume age gives a free pass. They will not cut in line, interrupt, or make inappropriate jokes..

… who is a senior, will respect other people’s time. They will avoidlong chats with service staff or excessive questions at checkouts to avoid holding up others.

… who is a senior, will be understanding of crying babies or noisy children. They will understand that children are not always controllable and will never shame parents by giving advice or criticism.

A good neighbour is aware of people who live with disabilities …

… never uses accessible parking without a permit.

… never blocks curb cuts, ramps, or elevator buttons.

… always avoids using the accessible washroom stall.

… always addresses someone living with a disability directly.

… is patient with anyone who experiences speech delays or stutters.

… is never patronizing and always asks before helping. They never assume someone wants help.

… avoids “inspiration” comments for people who live with disabilities. They appreciate the importance of diversity, equity, and inclusiveness.

… never questions someone’s disability, visible or otherwise.

… is aware of sensory sensitivity. They understandloud noises, strong scents, or bright lights can be overwhelming for some people.

A good neighbour does a lot of things for the people they interact with each day. A good neighbour is appreciated for the consideration they willingly provide to their community and for the example they set. While this post has been longer than most, there is nothing here that we all can’t do for our family, our friends, each other, and for our community; and we can all start today.

Good luck,

Paul