Most people who feel stuck or frustrated at work hear the same overly simple advice:
“Quit and find another job!”
But real life is more complicated than that. Bills. Timing. Family. The job market. Benefits. Commitments. Quitting isn’t always easy, and it isn’t necessarily always the right first step.
A mentor once told me something that reshaped the way I approach frustration: “When you’re frustrated with someone or something, start by asking: Could part of the problem be something I could change?” This is not about blaming yourself. It’s about regaining control.
Those who practice workplace psychology call this concept the internal locus of control, the belief that you can influence your environment through your own actions. Research consistently shows that people with stronger internal locus experience:
- Higher job satisfaction
- Lower stress and burnout
- Better relationships at work
- Higher performance and clearer communication
Not because they “try harder,” but because they focus on what they can adjust rather than waiting for someone else to change.
Every job is different, but human behavior is surprisingly universal. Below are ideas, based on experience and supported by research; ideas that cost nothing and require no special training. These are small steps you can take in your work to reduce frustration and increase your sense of control.
Practical Ideas You Can Start Today
Smile – It’s simple but powerful. A genuine or even “professional” smile reduces tension, signals approachability, and can make difficult interactions smoother. Research shows that small positive cues often influence others more than major personality traits.
Be on time – Arrive ten to fifteen minutes early if you can. Use the time to prepare, organize, and settle your mind. Even small routines like this rebuild a sense of calm and control at the start of your day.
Say “thank you” – Gratitude is a proven workplace performance booster. Try tracking how often you say a sincere “thank you.” Aim for twenty-five times a day, not forced, just attentive. It changes the tone of your interactions more than you expect.
Make at least three people feel better about themselves – This only works if you’re sincere, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to shift workplace culture. Lifting others lifts you. I like this because to do this successfully, you have to notice and pay attention to those around you.
Avoid drama – Some people thrive on gossip, negativity, or conflict. Research shows that disengaging from drama protects your mental health and reduces burnout. Guard your energy; getting involved or participating in workplace drama always costs more than it gives.
Help people – Organizations survive on how well people treat each other. Treat everyone you interact with each day with dignity, respect, and inclusivity. Be aware of the impact you have on those around you. Acknowledge people quickly. Remember that customers and co-workers want help solving their problems, not listening to yours.
Take notes – Our memories are selective. Taking the time to write notes prevents mistakes, reduces tension, and shows people that what they’re telling you matters.
Ask for clarification – Many times at work, frustration stems from assumptions and unclear expectations. Ask questions early. It shows maturity, not weakness.
Set the example – If something frustrates you, model the behavior you wish others had. People follow visible standards far more than spoken ones. Leadership is something we can all demonstrate whether we are in supervisory or management roles or not; I often find that those people who demonstrate a positive work ethic and who channel their energy into making positive changes can make a huge difference in their organizations.
While you are working, work – This obvious statement can feel counterintuitive when you’re frustrated, but “task focus” creates momentum and can quietly shift how others view you.
Learn – To overcome frustration, make yourself better; improve your skills, learn to improve everything about you. Many organizations offer e-learning, workshops, or skill development tools. Solid workplaces reward adaptability, flexibility, and commitment. Gaining new skills gives you more options, inside or outside your current job. Look for innovative ways to improve your performance.
Self-reflect, reframe, and reinvent – When faced with a difficult situation and/or decision, use the 6-question approach. Determine what the facts are, determine and consider all of the alternatives, and then, in the time you have, make the best decision you can. Will you always make the right choice? No, nobody does every time, do the best you can.
Afterward, ask and answer the remaining three questions, “What did I do right? What did I do wrong? and “What would I do differently next time?” Incremental improvement is one of the most powerful career strategies for getting better, vanquishing frustration, and making a difference.
Talk to your co-workers – Your success will happen through the relationships you build. Learn from everyone around you as to what strategies they use. You can learn from the best and from the worst, you will experience good luck and bad luck; success will come from how you handle and adapt, and the people around you can help.
Don’t wait for someone to train you – Alleviate frustration by being proactive. Read, listen, and practice skills and behaviors you want to have. Even 10–30 minutes of self-directed improvement a day compounds over time. In many workplaces, self-driven learning is the real key to advancement. Seek out mentors, show you are interested, and demonstrate daily that you care. Additionally, don’t practice what you’re already good at; practice the things you’re not. Professionals improve in the corners, not the straightaways.
Keep a journal – Capture your ideas, phrases, lessons, and experiences. When work opportunities occur, use your notes to stand out. Over time, you’ll notice patterns that help accelerate your growth. Journaling is also a very good way to vent your frustrations instead of keeping them bottled up.
Resist the urge to complain publicly – Venting to people who can’t fix your problems and frustrations rarely helps. When necessary, channel frustrations toward someone with the authority to act.
Speak to your supervisor – Good leaders want to understand their people. They may help fix issues, adjust workloads, or create opportunities. Even if they can’t solve everything, the conversation builds trust and clarity.
Try not to work so much – “Responsibility creep” happens easily and leads directly to burnout. Protect your core responsibilities. Boundaries are a sign of professionalism, not weakness.
Take your breaks – Skipping breaks feels productive in the moment, but they increase anxiety, reduces focus, and amplifies frustration. Rest refuels performance.
Get involved – Isolation fuels frustration. Getting involved, volunteering, participating in team events and meetings, all help in building connection and belonging.
Evaluate yourself honestly – If none of these suggestions help to reduce your frustration, it may be time for a deeper look at your skills, strengths, limitations, and goals. Speaking to an employment counselor or career professional can help you think through your next steps while you’re still employed, a much less stressful strategy.
Healthy Boundaries: Many people have found that feeling burnt out has more to do with the lack of boundaries than with their workload. Asking “Am I taking on responsibilities that aren’t mine? Do I say ‘yes’ because it’s easier than saying ‘no’? and/or ‘Do I protect my time as well as I protect others’? Boundaries are not shields; they are guidelines for sustainable performance.
A Critical Truth: Sometimes It Is the Job – Self-reflection is valuable, but it cannot fix a toxic environment. There are warning signs that the issue might be the workplace, not you.
- Persistent disrespect – You are treated differently from other associates or managers. You may find that where once your opinion was valued and sought-after, other people are filling that role without explanation.
- Bullying or psychological safety issues – This can happen to new people, and it can happen to people in the most senior of roles. While few organizations will ever admit to trying to “move” someone out, it does happen, and this is something that does occur; it has happened to me.
- Chronic role confusion – The lack of a clear reporting structure, and worse, an actual reporting structure that is different than the structure that is supposed to be in place, can be a major source of frustration.
- No path to growth or recognition – The job you were hired for will be the only job you ever do, and no one notices or acknowledges you or your effort.
- Unmanageable workloads – When the expectations of management exceed what you and other members of your organization can possibly accomplish in the time allocated. Usually, when management expects their people to work unpaid time, where management’s focus on results outweighs the concern for their people, this causes stress, toxicity, and will eventually lead to an exodus of all of the good people.
- A leadership culture that ignores concerns – When managers or owners believe they are the smartest people in the room, and everyone else is “just an employee,” and where issues brought forward by the people are ignored or downplayed, this is an organization that is impossible to change.
- Values that clash with your own or repeated behaviors that violate your boundaries – With a change in leadership, an organization that was once a good “fit” can become toxic when this happens/
If you see these consistently, then upgrading yourself won’t fix the system. Leaving may be the healthiest and smartest move.
Looking in the mirror isn’t easy, but it’s empowering. It’s something you can do today, without quitting, without waiting, and without permission from anyone else.
And if, after all of this, the frustration remains? Then quitting is absolutely an option, and you will walk away knowing you did everything possible to understand and manage your part.
Regardless of your industry, these habits will help you, and they will help the people around you.
Good luck,