“People who move rocks out of your path”

I had never heard this expression before.

In a book I was listening to recently, the author used it to praise people who take the time to clear obstacles from other people’s paths.  The author’s explanation and examples had a very powerful effect on me.  The book inspired me to write about people who moved “rocks” for me and for people I have known.

Some of the rocks moved are very small, others much bigger, and many more in-between.  Sometimes you are aware they are moving your rocks, and other times you only find out much later.  Each rock moved, regardless of size and when, can affect just a particular moment, or your entire day, a month, or maybe even the rest of your life.

These “movers” are very special people, often they do what they do because they can and they are altruistic.  For others, moving obstacles is a form of repayment, completing a promise made to someone who helped them when they needed help.

I have been fortunate to have known several of these people and I have also tried to repay their help.

When a stranger or friend smiles when they see you, can mean everything on a day where every direction seems uphill.  A simple consideration, like holding a door when you are struggling makes a difference.  Some people don’t see those things, but once you experience that feeling, often the favor is repaid almost immediately and the energy of that small “moved rock” ripples outward. 

You can tell people who are truly interested in you when they ask you how you are and they genuinely listen.  We all have days where we need to talk to someone, sometimes to celebrate a victory, some days because we need to be reassured when our confidence is at a low point.  While it might not seem like they are doing very much to move “rocks,” sometimes that caring conversation particularly because they recognize that something is wrong can prevent us from adding more rocks to our path because of self-doubt and waning confidence.

Some of the “rocks” are societal.  People, social media, and regular media can be very cynical.  Interacting with people who refuse to “pile on” to this thinking can “stop the dominos” from knocking you down.  Covid-19, inflation, restrictions, and negative comments can all add to the cynicism, which can only add to feelings of helplessness and despair that haunt some of us. Seeing and talking to someone who can navigate their own path can help inspire you to do the same. 

Antidotes can be equally effective in removing the “rocks” of cynicism.  A powerful and thoughtful respite can be as simple as a random or daily “pick-me-up.”  For many years, I have been sending a handful of family, friends, and co-workers a “small quote of the day.”  For me, it began as a way to help one specific and different person each day who needed a little encouragement.  I never said who the intended person was but everyone knew it was directed toward someone.  It wasn’t uncommon for several people to quietly thank me for “their” quote.  I have continued to move “small rocks” for people with these quotes. 

When looking for a new job or career, your ability to secure an interview or offer can come down to what your references say about you.   When people know you are looking for work some people will “go out of their way” to volunteer to be your reference.  Having someone willing to stake their reputation on yours can change the course of your career.   When you are competing against dozens of equally skilled applicants this help cannot be underestimated.

Equally important are people who take the time to ensure you are getting the help you need.  They could be helping a co-worker, a student, a client, or a customer.  They see the stress and anxiety when other people don’t.  Too many organizations do not devote enough resources to initial training or ongoing training.  These organizational blind spots then extend to customers and clients and form a major “rock wall” driving staff and clients elsewhere.    

I have owned more than a dozen copies of Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” and I have lent all of them to people.  Lending someone a book on improving themselves is a way to teach people how to remove their “own rocks.”  More than 100 years since it was first published books like this and a host of equally powerful books can change the course of someone’s life. 

Piggybacking on this thought is something several people tried to teach me, sometimes allowing people to move their own rocks is what is required.  Personal experience is one of the most powerful tools anyone can have.  Starting with small stones and then larger rocks is good and then having someone nearby to lend support and provide encouragement builds confidence.   

Mistakes are part of learning and mistakes should not be fatal.  A person who believes in you and provides support and stands by you when mistakes threaten to overwhelm you.  A person who can provide perspective and can spread that perspective amongst “the powers that be,” can help keep your path from running over a cliff. 

I have been fortunate to have had some amazing mentors who moved rocks for me.  People who saw something in me that I could not see or believe at the time.  More than once they created opportunities for me because they remembered the work I had done.  Other times they mentioned my name to someone who was looking for a person to help their organization.

These people who move rocks out of your path are far more plentiful than those who seem to delight in putting rocks in your way. 

These people who move the small pebbles right up to the insurmountable ones do what they do because they appreciate those people who moved rocks for them, it is a worthy gesture for all of us.

Good luck,

Paul.

Postscript:  Alexandre Dumas once wrote, “You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next, what makes you who you are is what you do when that storm hits.”  Having a few people who move some of those rocks out of your way can really help.