There is no manual for life.
Our days are full of big events that can change the direction of our lives and small routine things that barely register in our consciousness. There are though, many things that can seem small, but which have a disproportionate impact because of “when” and “how” they happen. With these unexpected events, sometimes we don’t react well because we hadn’t considered them to be important.
See what you think of this list and please feel free to suggest more as well.
“Things I thought everyone knew …”
… Your Vote Matters. In our last provincial election, only 43% of the eligible voters cast their ballots, but a majority government resulted. Too many people say their vote does not matter and as a result while they stayed home the percentage of people who always vote, got their way one more time.
… Always go on a trip with a full tank of fuel. Letting your car run low on gas is hard on the engine because water vapor condenses in your tank. If you actually run out of fuel with a fuel injection system, you might need a mechanic to get restarted. Also, many gas stations are not open past a certain point at night. Dad that one is for you.
… Take Grocery List when you shop. With the price of groceries increasing at stupid rates, having a list of what you actually need can help you save money. Buying extra things or things you already have can really add up quickly. Watch for “shrinkflation,” where the price is the same as always, but the package contains less product. PS. Never shop when you are hungry.
… Use YouTube. For people born in the last twenty-five years, this is a no-brainer. For people of a little older vintage, if you do not know how to do something, YouTube is the place to go. Or google.
… How to mail a letter. At the risk of offending people, there are a lot of people who have never mailed a letter, “snail mail” just is not how they communicate. Just like how vinyl records are making a comeback, handwritten letters are too. There is just something really connective about writing a letter by hand and mailing it. Btw, post offices and drug stores usually sell stamps and envelopes, plus do not forget to put a return address on it … oh you can also YouTube for examples.
… 211. Everyone knows about 911 if you need police, fire, or an ambulance. If you have a question about social services, or the government, and do not who to ask; call 211 or key 211 online. In most parts of Canada, the line is staffed 24/7 and they are very friendly and helpful.
… How to react properly. Remember it is “aim, ready, shoot,” too often we instinctively react too quickly to unexpected situations and regret that we did not take a moment to consider the impact of our reactions. Learn to use whatever time is available to consider the facts, weigh the options, and then react.
… Mistakes are not the end of the world. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Learn what you can and do not punish yourself. Ask, “What did I do right, what did I do wrong, and what should I do next time?” If you are not making mistakes, you’re not stretching yourself or trying to get better.
… File your taxes, every year. In Canada, most of the services and programs to assist people are triggered by filing a tax return. This is especially true for vulnerable or low-income people. If you know someone struggling or if you are, make sure to do this, it might just make between making it and not making it.
… Volunteer to go first. This can be hard for almost all of us but there are great advantages to volunteering to be first. Students will usually get marked easier. Everyone stands out in a crowd, and surprisingly there is less pressure because whatever you volunteer for is over quicker, especially for presentations.
… Mainstream News is not always what it seems. “Spin” happens. Our media is built around 5 or 10-second soundbites and many form their opinions around stories that barely scratch the surface of what is really happening. Dig deeper, there is always more going on than it seems.
… Check the battery in your smoke detector. If there is a fire in your home or apartment, according to fire experts you have less than two minutes to get out. Make sure your smoke detector works. If you have small children, practice a fire drill so they will not hide. Having working smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors can save your life.
… You cannot get the flu from a flu shot. The vaccine contains a dead virus to trigger your body’s immune system to create antibodies. Too many people avoid this easy way of preventing illness because they believe anecdotal stories that are wrong. Millions of people have been saved by vaccines in the past seventy-five years. Take a lesson from covid-19, get your annual shot, wash your hands, social distance, and stay home if you are sick.
… Do not wash all your clothes together. Cotton, colors, white things, wool, and not overloading your washing machine or dryer all demand your attention. Nobody goes to “laundry school,” but read the directions. Know what HE (high efficiency) soap is and what it does and doesn’t do. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. BTW liquid fabric softener is not soap.
… If you rent, have tenants’ insurance. Property owners have insurance, but it does not cover your stuff. There are very inexpensive policies out there, have one. Ask questions about what is covered, and what is not covered, and learn about what a deductible is.
… Regularly check your tires. Checking the air pressure is not always necessary, even just looking at them is a good idea. If they look low, then check the pressure, and fill them up at a gas station. You will get better mileage, save your tires from wearing out prematurely, and save having to change a tire on a busy highway or isolated backroad.
… Know how to change a tire. Speaking of tires, do you know how to change a tire? Where is your spare tire, is it still there, is it flat, where do attach the jack? Did you know that if you have one of those tiny spare tires; you must drive slowly, and they are not meant for driving long distances?
… You should belong to an auto club. Joining CAA is a great idea and not very expensive. Flat tires, keys locked in your car, running out of gas, towing, and more; are all services provided by most club memberships. Also, the coverage is for you, not a specific vehicle so even if you are in someone else’s vehicle and there is a problem you can get help. Most are 24/7/365 wherever you are stuck,
… Know how to check your oil. Cars are so much better than they were even twenty years ago, but they still require diligence. Park the car on a level place, find the dipstick, pull it out, wipe it, reinsert it, and then check it. This is especially important for older cars. If you happen to run out of oil, your engine seizes, and you are going to have a bad day. Listen for unusual noises too, squeals and grinding are never good. Also, know how to add oil, it does not go in the dipstick holder, watch a YouTube video if you have never done it.
… Always ask for a better price. For big-ticket purchases like cars, furniture, or appliances. The worst the salesperson will say is “no.” Shop on days that google says the store is slow, especially near the end of the day. Use best-price websites to research prices for the models you are looking at. Also, remember sellers will always try to get you to “buy” right now, take your time and buy when you are ready, there will always be another “deal.” Also ask what is included and what is not included, for example, delivery, financing, and additional components that you require.
… Ask about return policies before buying anything. Never be afraid of returning something you do not want or that is broken. If something arrives damaged, do not hesitate to contact the store. If they do not give you what you want, escalate your complaint. Be poised and calm but be tenacious. You must call immediately, do not wait; often return periods are measured in hours and days, not weeks or months.
… Beware of the fallacy of comparative suffering. Try not to compare your illnesses or stresses to those of other people. Your pain is real and minimizing it because other people have more significant issues does not help you get the treatment and help you need.
… Always clean before moving. Small considerations for the next person can make a big difference in your life. If you are not already doing this, the next time you move, take the time to clean, vacuum, and leave your former home in the condition that you would like to find your own next home.
… Avoid forcing “win/lose” situations. Compromise is not a “four-letter word.” Allowing other people to achieve some victories can sometimes help you achieve your long-term goals. Remember to make a difference in most situations in life, “You need a seat at the decision table.”
… Do not allow risk habituation to dull your instincts. Just because something has never happened to you, does not mean it will not ever happen to you. Not wearing a bike helmet, failing to wear a life jacket when boating or canoeing, thinking driving and texting is okay this one time, and not having insurance; are all things we can be lulled into thinking won’t happen to us.
… Protect your anxiety strategies. Whether at the beginning or end of the day, many of us have coping mechanisms that help us cope with daily pressures. It might be a quiet cup of coffee in the morning, or something as simple as not texting before bed. They are important, try to appreciate them, and maintain them.
… Do not assume everyone knows what to do. There is no manual for life. Those with experience can often get upset at new people because they do not do something “that everyone should know how to do.” Most people try hard at their new jobs, the problem is that they are new, even if they have been shown something, it is not a habit yet and patience is required.
Knowledge is not universal, it is learned, not instinctive. Nothing on my list is complicated and none of the points are original. They are, however, basic skills that we should have just to exist in our world. We are all learning, we all must be patient, appreciative, and willing to teach and help each other.
Good luck,
Paul.