Lessons Learned.

I have made virtually every mistake possible in a career that has spanned both the private and public sectors.  I have worked for some of the very best people imaginable in those organizations and some of the very worst.  I take full ownership of my mistakes and have learned as much from the bad experiences as I have from the good or great. Sometimes I was fortunate to have second, third, and fourth chances, and other times I was forced to overpay the prices exacted for mistakes.

I have learned, survived, and thrived through setbacks and successes.  I am grateful for this forum to share some of what I have learned.  This post, my “lessons learned,” in “project managementese” is shared in hopes that you might avoid some of the pitfalls I have stumbled into, sometimes by accident, and other times because I was too stubborn to avoid them.

So What.  No matter what you do, it doesn’t matter how good it is unless it can be used and applied by you or someone else.  What is the value and how quickly can it be applied?

You Make a Difference.  Know this, believe this, and never forget this.  There are days when everything seems to be uphill, I know.  Believe in yourself, change paths, change direction if necessary, and along the way help those who you can.  Everything counts.

Interact.  Your success revolves around how well you treat co-workers, clients, customers, family, friends, and everyone else. Any person who thinks otherwise is doomed to be run over by the karma bus eventually.   

Become a student of people.  Learn, listen, observe, and absorb life skills, attitudes, and behaviors that will positively influence your life.  Use the same approach to learn to avoid negative or destructive influences as well.  Everyone can teach you something.   

Some people will not help themselves.  If you find yourself wanting someone to succeed more than they want to succeed you are pushing a rock hill.  Don’t give up, but you may have to wait until they want to accept your help. 

Some people will not like you.  It happens, and there are many reasons; it might be something you did or did not do.  You may be perceived as a threat, or they may not even know you.  Try to build at least a working relationship if you can.  Understand though, it has more to do with their attitude than it does about anything to do with you.

You are not as smart as you think you are.  Confidence and ability are important, but so is humility.  Be humble, own your mistakes, learn from your mistakes, acknowledge your blind spots, and never stop trying to be better than you are today. 

Appreciate the Lifeboat.  “Imagine you are the captain of a ship that is sinking.  You are in a lifeboat with ten people, three will do whatever you ask because you are the captain, they will not question your ability, they will literally follow you anywhere.  Three will hate and resent you because they will blame you for the ship sinking.  Those three will drill holes in the bottom of the boat when you’re not looking, they will use the bailing buckets to put water into the boat, and there is nothing you can do about it.  The real battle is for the four people left over, they are scared, confused, and could go either way.  Influence and convince them and you can overcome most obstacles will bring them onto your side and provide a majority for you.  That’s the real battle most of us face daily.”  You may never convince the blamers but accepting at 70% is a victory, you will succeed more often than you will fail.   

Always find the best people available.  Seldom will you have the “perfect” team; however, seek out the best people available?  It isn’t important if they don’t like you or are smarter than you, in fact, the smarter the better.

Everyone needs to be socially responsible.  Social responsibility and success are not mutually exclusive.  Supporting vulnerable members of your community is good business and vitally important.  Organizational decisions should always be environmentally positive as well.

Always play with integrity.  Playing to win should be expected in every endeavor; however, how you play, whether in sports, academically, or in business sets you apart. 

Always volunteer to go first.  I believe in standing out.  I believe that we all have leadership abilities.  I believe that leaders lead from the front and there is no better way to set an example than to volunteer to be first.

Chose when and what to go to war about.  Winning every situation is not worth the cost.  Win/lose situations should only be the last resort when dealing with people.  Finding solutions that result in gains for both sides is more sustainable and is more sustainable.

You have blind spots.  Everyone does.  Develop a network of people who will tell you what yours are.  Listen to people.  Appreciate when people provide you with feedback, especially negative comments.  Appreciate the risk people take when offering criticism and always consider they might be right.

Plan, practice, Execute and follow up when leading meetings.  Meetings should be interesting, useful, and respectful of the people attending.    

Master public speaking.  I read once that 51% of Americans would rather die than do public speaking.  You might be nervous but know that so is everyone.  This is one of the greatest skills you can possess.

Set the example.  Always do more than is asked or expected.  Help everyone who comes to you for assistance.  Earn a reputation as someone who cares.    

Do the hard things when they need to be done.  Successful people don’t like to do hard things any more than less successful people, but they know those difficult things are a basic part of the work they do.

Be prepared when the door opens.  Far too many people struggle to be heard and are unprepared when they finally get their chance.

Train your people better than everyone else.  As a manager, supervisor, or leader; training and preparation is something you can 100% influence.

Appreciate and be interested in your people.  Listen and learn about them.  Be interested in their stories and don’t “one-up them.”  Find out their dreams and goals and then help them achieve and believe in them.  Put your people ahead of yourself, for example, at an organizational event, as a manager, always be last in line. 

Make decisions.  Begin by discovering the facts, looking at alternates, and making the best decision possible.  Afterward, ask “What did I do right?  What did I do wrong? and “What would I do differently next time.

Sometimes no matter what you do, you can’t win.  These situations happen in real life.  Always do the best you can, and always try to do what is right.  Developing the ability to be fair, thoughtful, and poised under pressure will earn your trust for you.

Ask questions you may not want the answers to.  A truly successful person wants to know the truth without filters.  Many people say they are prepared to do this, in actuality this skill is incredibly rare. 

Sometimes it’s not about you.  Think about this one.  It is easy to measure people’s reactions from your perspective and try to look at their actions and reactions from their perspective.

Give people a second, third, or fourth chance.  People make mistakes and punishing them over and over again isn’t fair.  Situations should have consequences, but they should always be appropriate and provide an opportunity for redemption.  Will you be taken advantage of?  Probably, however, more often than not, your fairness will be appreciated.

Pump up your own tires.  It would be wonderful if everyone recognized your value; however, too many times this doesn’t happen, and you will have to rely on yourself for motivation.

Nobody likes critiques.  This is a mistake I have repeatedly made.  Try not to show point out where shortfalls occur.  Instead, discuss how ideas or concepts might be improved, and what is working, and ask for their input on how things might be better.  Then offer your suggestions on how situations might be improved.  Make mistakes seem minor or easy to fix or use Dale Carnegie’s approach to draw attention to mistakes indirectly and by using your own mistakes as examples.

In reading these points it might be easy to assume everyone knows what I have written.  In practice though, despite few of these points being original, if everyone applied them, we would all be more successful.  Each of these lessons has been the result of mistakes I have made, sometimes more often than I care to reveal.  I continue to make mistakes … different ones and occasionally some of the old ones.  I am human, it happens.  At the end of the day, you do your best as that’s all you have, and you try not to have any regrets.  I hope this helps.

Good luck,

Paul.