Pressure affects everyone. Try not to think there is anything wrong with you because you are having trouble dealing with pressure. Dealing with pressure is a skill, fortunately, it is a learned skill. It may not seem like it but you have been learning and improving your pressure skills all your life. Sometimes though, things have a way of piling up so the pressure can seem overwhelming and incredibly discouraging. It doesn’t help that sometimes it seems everyone around you handles pressure better than you. Try to appreciate they are just at a different point on a pressure-handling continuum than you.
Pressure cannot be eliminated, it is part of life; however, there are “tools” you can learn to help develop your “pressure” abilities.
Pressure is real. It is easy to say, “Just ignore the pressure,” however, statements such as this aren’t helpful, only adding to your feelings of weakness, and making your ability to deal with pressure even harder.
Appreciate that pressure is neither good nor bad, it just is. Pressure is constantly with us. As you learn skills, make mistakes, and experience victories; your experience and confidence will grow as will your ability to cope with pressure. Recognize you are not going to be perfect initially and that you will make mistakes as you improve.
Don’t compare how you handle pressure with how other people handle pressure. What is important, is how you adjust, cope, and manage your own situations. Learn from other people, ask them for their strategies and lessons, copy what you can, and adapt what they do to work for you. Your ability to handle pressure is a very personal skill.
Recognize your need to improve and thrive under pressure. Pressure can help you achieve many of life’s goals and rewards … but it will be a struggle. Use all the tools you can to overcome and manage your pressure. It is hard work and demands sacrifice and commitment, As you become better at managing pressure, your successes will lead to opportunities for you to thrive.
Learn to respond to warning signs before you feel helpless and out of control. I know what it feels like to be completely overwhelmed, to feel stuck, and to lose hope. Feeling nervous and uncertain, not sleeping properly, and/or being irritable or anxious; are just some of the warning signs. Feelings of pressure can happen when tasks are not started or put off, when instructions are unclear when pushing your comfort zone, and when you know someone is counting on you. Fortunately, each of these feelings can be mitigated.
Make a Plan. When you are pushing your comfort zone or you experience any other pressure warning signs, take this first step to manage your pressure. Appreciate your plan will have to change and evolve. Begin by doing the following.
Determine all the pertinent facts.
Be clear about what needs to be done, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Define what success will look like, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Determine how much time is available.
Determine all the alternatives available.
Evaluate the alternatives and choose the best one you think will accomplish success. (Note: You will sometimes choose the wrong one, but that is how you learn.)
Begin. Getting started is the key. Too often, it is easy to feel paralyzed, but getting started will help alleviate some of your pressure.
Perfection is the roadblock to starting. When you begin a task or project, whether for school, work or in life, the first draft or iteration will not likely be perfect. Start and do the best you can. Appreciate that perfection may not be achievable in the time available. This doesn’t mean that sub-standard work is acceptable, it just means getting something done well and handed in, is better than getting hung up trying to be perfect and missing a deadline. To paraphrase Teddy Roosevelt’s famous quote, “Do the best you can, with what you have, in the time you have.”
Nobody starts from zero. You have been building your skills to handle pressure all your life. As a child, we learn a language, social and safety cues, math, and other subjects. As we grow, we learn more skills and each situation we encounter helps to build your skills. No matter at which point in life you find yourself remember you have gotten this far and trust in your ability to learn and adapt.
Don’t procrastinate. If you haven’t already started, the best time to begin is now. Wishing you had begun sooner is a good “lesson learned,” however, it doesn’t usually help with the pressure you are experiencing right now. When you create your plan, ensure you accomplish something every day and track your progress in writing.
Keep your perspective. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” If you fail a task or assignment, there are certainly costs and consequences; however, the sun will still rise in the morning and your life will continue. Keep in mind, planning, preparation, and execution are the path to success and your ability to improve things you control. Work to improve outcomes incrementally.
Plan and take breaks. Doing a task at the last minute or “cramming” for an exam are both recipes for failure in the long term. I try to work in 30-minute sprints, working 30 minutes on one task, then 30 minutes on another, building in 10–15-minute breaks as necessary. Divide big tasks into manageable bites you can handle.
Don’t isolate yourself. When under pressure, too often, it is easy to disconnect from people and your network, ironically, this is likely the best time to use your connectivity. Certainly, getting your task or work finished when under pressure is the goal; however, gaining assistance, getting questions answered, and being reassured are all important as well.
Extensions. Sometimes life events happen, when something creates a delay and adds to your pressure, ask for a time extension. Most workplaces and schools will at least listen, the worst that will happen is someone will say “no.”
Avoid tripping at the finish line. For school or work assignments, proofread documents and practice presentations. For other situations, like interviews, use role-playing to practice scenarios.
Lessons Learned. You are going to make mistakes. You will fail sometimes. When it happens, take note of what worked, and what didn’t work, and use the lessons for the next time. Your ability to learn and apply what you learn will help you the next time.
These are my “lessons learned,” I have not always handled the pressure as well as I could have. I have used each one of the above points and found they do work. I hope they will work for you. Your ability to handle situations and pressure will improve, I encourage you to use these tools and offer help to those around you to improve their skills.
Good luck,
Paul.